Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Wind and light welcomes evening…

Kabir kadre|3 months, 9 days ago

The evening is oscillating between threats of rain and that kind of very late day light that makes both the clouds, and the grasses seem somehow enormous in their charisma.

The character of this evening lies in contrast to a dull grey cold morning.

Cassandra and Courtney met this morning to further Courtney’s introduction and initiation to this little care journey we are on. The two came into my room bubbling and smiling, even through their standard generic facemasks, now conventional wear around the house.

The phone rang as Cassandra was making her way through her introduction of the morning routine. David, who has been an enormous part of shaping the body and nuance of the care process and field we cultivate here, calls in about once a month and his contributions are always precious coming reliably with smiles and depth of reverence in balance.

He offered to call back, but as we were on face time video and he was walking the quiet back road of rural Virginia where he currently takes his exercise, I encouraged that we stay on the call if for no other reason than I could then enjoy a beautiful spring morning with bright sun, birds, and nature as a part of my rising process.

David and I chatted while the ladies underwent their wisdom sharing. Outside the car door closed loudly enough to make its presence known down the hallway and into my room. Eliana and Massoud arriving to pluck the weeds from the beautiful indigenous landscape they had installed last fall.

Just like that, this quiet little corner of quarantine went from the usual bustle of two to a downright party of six. Cassandra even brought the Everclear, though I suppose I should say that was for the essential oil disinfectant spray, and not so much for the revelers.

Promising to call David back, we finished getting me out of bed and headed outside to say hello to friends we’ve not seen for well over a month, and probably much longer, since our new practices of physical distancing have begun.

These are the first people I’ve seen other than our care team, and one interviewee who didn’t make the cut since my last visitors nearly one month ago. The scene was odd and awkward. Some of us masked, others not, ideas of the recommended 6 foot distancing seemed to vary perceptively between about 3 feet and about 10 feet. Regardless, with hidden mouths, distance, and the gurgling stream in the background, conversation was loud and a little broken.

Even the first moments of contact, first approaching one another with smiles and then stumbling on the invisible barrier now present in what otherwise would have been an unbroken approach to hugs and warm greetings.

The love was present, but we were certainly navigating new patterns of behavior in interacting. As mentioned, the air was cold and the sky grey, providing quite the backdrop to this surreal social experience.

I made my way back inside some minutes after Cassandra and Courtney had retreated and found myself habitually distanced from them. In the kitchen, Cassandra was sitting at the desk, and Courtney a few feet beyond at the table. My path lay past them both, coming within a few feet of each.

Entering the room I stopped, just to touch base as our morning was running late. After a few minutes of conversation I realized the implicit sensation of distancing – even though these two ladies would be bringing food to mouth sitting right next to me within minutes. These were the same people that had just 40 minutes before physically hugged and held my body as I was lifted from bed to chair.

Same people, new projected tension.

I find a field of discomfort in our current context. A slight headache or sniffle whispers threats of existential concern. Beloved friends bring a mystery of contacts and potential threads of exposure. A blanket, a low-lying fog of discomfort now flavors the soup we all share.

Shaking off the strangeness, I continue with my day – the ritual recounting of projects, in boxes and concerns, taking in the articles bookmarked from a week of active doing, and finally the backlog of thoughtful and considered correspondence, too lengthy or deep to survive the hectic pace of the working week.

I didn’t sleep well last night, though considerably better than recent evenings, enough anyway to tend to the day relatively uninterrupted by distracting lethargy. In the hours of the morning I realized one possible prototype in response to my question of the week – where might there be a leverage point with our current global systems strained as they are to apply some pressure in favor of a reformation more friendly to the ecosphere and the inhabitants living within.

“Marketing the new story of humanity…” I’ll have to talk to some people about that.

Courtney is working out well. She seems gracefully at ease with all of the novelty and deeply appreciative of what we are co-creating together.

With David I discussed a coming team meeting (he is definitely a part of this) as we now have a newly formed whole in our little collective and some real possibility to translate and transmit the field of care that works so well here, to others who more acutely need that kind of nutrient today than anywhere in recent memory.

Opportunities, partners, timing, grace. The work it seems is in cutting through the confusion, fear, and limiting beliefs that may threaten to slow me down at any point through this momentary journey of self.

Over 8000 reported dead this morning, up about 3000 from two days ago, and that’s only counting this little nation. Note to self, must remember to be aware more globally…

No time like the present to find ever fuller ways of offering love.


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