Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Where has the story gone?

kabir Kadre|2 years, 4 months ago

After going to bed last night with (almost) no dinner, exhausted and a bit delirious, I slept nearly 11 hours, waking with a subtle fear that my body might be faltering, just now as the waters of my life are quickening so.

I stirred at the sound of my alarm, and drove myself steadily through the waves of waking and into an upright seated position. I rang Eleña, waiting patiently with a book in the dining room, with the customary emoticon greeting – the standard cue that I am ready for assistance to begin the day. A moment more of pushing through the accumulated weight of so much sleep, and I quickly amended my message to say “????.” Starting the day with medicine was most certainly in order.

The magic elixirs of nature are truly a medicinal delight. I like to keep a little coconut water on hand for just such an occasion. Eleña arrived, 8 ounce glass of pink perfection in hand and the remedy was applied. A few moments later and the fear was merely a memory. Groggy, but reinvigorated, and with help, I rose.

Eleña, filling in for Greg, had come earlier than her usual 8 AM, and smiled today as she offered to stay later as well. It worked out perfectly and I got a great start on the day, soft cereal made with love helped to ease my body into motion. A little caffeine, morning news, and catching up to speed with correspondence and I was back in the flow.

[I just stepped away from the computer for a moment to invent a new pizza, we’ll see how that goes. ;-)]

I had a late morning meeting today with an occupational therapist, Susan, sent by the Medicare home health agency to assess my condition and potentially provide some additional care support by way of home health aides. It doesn’t look like they’ll be able to offer much, but it could be something to take a little strain off the team as we make our way through these final weeks of transition.

Susan arrived just as Eleña was readying to depart. We had not anticipated needing any care team partners to be present for the meeting, but it turned out well that Eleña offered to stick around at the last minute. Susan wanted to see how we transfer me between the chair and the bed, what our shower situation looked like, and wanted to learn more about the various details of my “activities of daily life.” Eleña was able to not only demonstrate some of those things, but also offer her valuable perspective on the daily unfolding of things.

Susan stayed with us for about an hour, a lovely and apparently quite competent young woman, and left with warm goodbyes and promises to do what she could to help ease the load for a time.

Eleña said goodbye and was off to her errands of the day.

The house quiet, just Kitty and I, I turned my attention to the creative works of the day, first continuing the formulation of our formal MettaCare offering, and then turning my attention in the afternoon to readying the launch of the crowdfunding version of something I’ve been nurturing along for nearly 1/4 century.

The MettaCare project is proving itself a real crucible for my capacities to define and organize a project with multiple mentors/collaborators helping to shape the clarity and vision. If I manage to pull this off, I will be in service to a small but determined community of individuals ready to grow something in terms of a greater technology of care in and for the world.

Of course by “I manage to pull this off” I certainly mean We, however the formulation of artifact and concentration of energy necessary to make possible any emergent opportunities to fund the initiative feels each of these days quite squarely on my shoulders. As, I think, and I am grateful, it should be. Nonetheless, if this works to initiate this effort to expand, it will be the direct result of the contributions, in acute terms, of no less than a dozen people just to start.

I look forward to some moment, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, when I can offer some artifact to invite you dear readers, dear Charles and friends, to see more clearly what it is I am referring to when I say “MettaCare initiative.” In fact, that’s a nice segue into the second portion of my afternoon today, the production of my Patreon site, with luck, a platform to take my art to the next level.

As a matter of fact I’m quite certain I have some of those artifacts and will post them to that new platform sometime in the very near term.

For now however, I’m just off a call with you, dear Charles, and know that you are hungry from these pages for lack of story as you called it. Let me take a breath here and see if I might remedy that in some way…

For now, the smells of the pizza coming from the next room, evidence of Cassie’s care and efforts on my behalf. We put the basic crust in the oven with just a little sauce and some shredded cheese (my favorite raw goats cheddar), meanwhile the lovely kitchen muse sautéed a little veggie medley with onions and potatoes and a few others. When the pizza was ready, the veggie sauté went fresh over the top of it, with a little olive oil, then to be topped with fresh cut tomatoes and a little arugula to crown the creation. No title yet, but it does smell delicious and I expect we’ll have to give this new pizza a name if we are going to come back to it in the future.

Such as it is my friend, after some days of your silence, I had to call. In perfect ironic form, the story I have to tell today is rather mundane, just a man at home working to advance his hopes and aspirations through the little projects at hand, a quick lunch in the garden of leftovers and a little coffee with the kind woman, Cassandra, who came to offer service, is no story at all to match your tale.

I called my friend Charles today, this evening in fact, just in the midst of writing this missive. I have not heard from him in some time, probably just a few days really, but as I’ve been writing regularly and posting by email these journal entries daily I was starting to feel our conversation was a bit one sided. I called to find if Charles was well, and all things right with him. It was the perfect day to ask.

Just after rising this morning, still groggy and in his dressing gown, struggling with the animals in his care, with their primary owner and caretaker, his lovely wife Charlotte away visiting relatives, he had fallen over himself and into the deep end of the pool! The weight of the wet gown pulling him under, he fought valiantly his way to the surface, and then to the side, thwarting death and catastrophe only later today to lose his glasses, and then be called by an old friend just to berate him with wishes and wonders, where had the story gone?

I’ll try again tomorrow my dear friend, I do wish these words, not only to narrate, but also to entertain.



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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…