Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Thresholds of discipline…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 11 months ago

Two screens staring back, another full day in bed. The Latin words describing the malfunction at my L5/S one vertebrae aren’t conducive with this voice software, but the phenomena they Point to can be improved with bed rest, so I may have that going for me.

Meanwhile I’ve got some basic Voice transcription email capacities on my phone and a to do list there while the laptop seems useful for calendar review(Not so much updating) and web browsing.

The encumbrances of the scenario are real and slow, at the least, my access to work. At the same time, I know too well that obstructions to creativity inevitably yield to discipline when applied. Paradoxically this compounds the emotional frustration of feeling immobilized and separated from my fluid and well too and systems of creative support.

This morning I woke shortly after 6 AM from dreams involving relatively arid jungle tickets, a long thin snake, and a strange triangle between myself and two other people, the nature of which never quite clarified it self.

After meditation I begin to busy myself with morning news and email on my phone. The care service was unable to send an LVN today so I had asked LB last evening if you wouldn’t mind helping with some of the morning routine. He had cheerfully agreed and stumbled in just before 9 AM. Friendly but tired, I sent him back to bed to finish resting.

Moments after 10 AM, a bright eyed cheerful young woman arrived, Latino American living across the border in Tijuana. Crossing was easy for her she said, she does it all the time. Although contractually not permissed, she in fact have the skills to help with the technical aspects of the morning routine and happily obliged to support me in that way.

This will allow LB a little more autonomy through the morning before stepping into formal care capacity later in the afternoon. It is important to be mindful of boundaries and steward one another’s energy when we can in care contexts like this.

Eliana stopped by, hoping to catch Elisa as I’ve been teasing them both for many months now that they will really enjoy one another’s company when I do eventually connect. Just as she had to go, Elisa showed up to help me apply for a small business grant. Not far behind her was Dennis. Another pair I knew would make a good match of the minds, and the three of us spent the afternoon Sharing stories, getting to know you, and pondering the wider context of our world and work within it today.

The house is quiet now and I got tired of chasing this transcription errors. I will continue to rest my body and whether these frustrations tomorrow, Tuesday we will learn more of the path forward, hopefully out of bed sooner than later.

Here I am finding the thresholds of my discipline. I am able to keep going this habit of writing, but creating in more than this the dimension is proving challenging. Today I have an able to lean further in the correspondence, though the messages remain necessarily brief and actions taken in response to messages arrived remains limited.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…