Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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The love of inquiring minds…

Kabir Kadre|8 months, 4 days ago

Writing these words often begins with the ritual of reflecting on my calendar. I keep notes and entries almost religiously there, mostly so that I don’t have to think too hard about what to do next, but also so that I don’t have to think too hard to reflect on what it is I’ve been doing.

Today however I also have the nice little writing prompt of your inquiry, dear Charles, about the house, the car, the assets, income, debts, government funding, the trust, if any, moving or not moving, the various mechanical bits really that have not been mentioned in these pages for a while. 🙂

It’s true, I’ve been focused in other directions for some time now.

At the front of this particular trek I was mostly facing a kind of tsunami of unknowns. I knew that the stores that had been funding the cash flow accounts were in decline, and I knew something about the costs of those flows; I knew that the hours of skilled care on hand was declining, and I knew that there were decisions to be made on both mundane and complex structural levels. Each of those territories however, unpacked as a riot of details, most of which were either ambiguous, yet unripe, or hidden behind waves of legal and bureaucratic inquiry, signatures, and acquaintance yet unmade.

When I (we) started this journey of opening those lines of inquiry in late December, each moment was like a cascading explosion of sparks, some lighting the way, others threatening to ignite the house. Slowly, but surely I’ve made my way into the water and waves looking for those little stones of clarity through the churn; slowly but surely, the tempest has stilled, the water more calm is now easier to see through and the way, thusly, more clear.

Which is of course not to say that all is resolved and the path is certain. That remains far from true, at least on this side of the veils.

Your question is in fact well-timed.

I now know a few things I did not before. Social services are minimally available when one has any asset, including youth, and the ability to earn. Most assisted-living type facilities are focused either on the elderly, the ambulatory, or at least the fairly self-sufficient; a 48-year-old quadriplegic, engaged in generative activities, and requiring assistance for sensitive concern such as bowel care, has few options along established routes.

I now have a fairly basic arithmetic to perform, a task I will tackle tomorrow. Staying in or selling the home, moving to an apartment, a board and care, or skilled nursing facility – what are the explicit and specific costs associated, what care is involved, and what must be surrendered in each outcome, this is the math.

On the block are the following. The pursuit of professional (paid) activities – necessary for any hope to better my situation in the future (unless of course we count investment bets placed on uncertain but potentially lucrative outcomes – not a strong confidence on which to place the whole of the future.) A personalized diet of concentrated and clean nutrition; potentially, a private workspace; regular exercise; regular preventative health measures; reliable and accessible Internet; and probably more.

The arithmetic should tell me something more about an official “by when” do I need to make a decision about moving in a certain direction. If the occasion arises that I should do so, then when I do move off of my current place of balance (such as it is) an enormous momentum will come into play as tectonic shifts unfold in succession. That will indeed be another stirring of the waters, activity with immediacy and little access to long-term clarity. A prospect to which I am resolved as necessary, but certainly not looking forward to if it can be avoided.

In the meantime, as these threads have become more clear, I’ve had more energy and time to turn attention to the possibilities of creating an alternative path forward. These efforts are still today my primary work, of the roughly 70 hours of engaged time last week, eight were spent on the details of these more “mundane” concerns, with the balance poured into the creative effort.

This week I’ll be pouring myself into these creative efforts, taking care of a couple of health engagements, and getting a haircut so – up or down, at least I’ll look good. 😉

Thanks for asking. 🙂


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…