Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Taking a moment to write…

|10 months, 12 days ago

I’m taking a moment to write today, because I’d like to take more than a few moments to write ongoing…

It’s Saturday, August 21, early evening. Margie is on her way over to the otherwise quiet house. I believe she is bringing a family friend whom I will be delighted to meet. The three of us will share a meal, and later, Erica will arrive to help get me to bed.

Still with Saturday afternoons/evenings, no formal care. By good fortune I manage to continue finding ways to cover these gaps with the grace of good friends.

I had a dream the other night. It’s a few days off now, but I remember the gist – that I had a book to write, and that I should get serious about finding the funding to focus on that endeavor, or perhaps that I should focus on that endeavor and that the funding would come.

So writing again is upon me. Haunting my dreams now. A world in isolation, calling for communication, how apropos.

The week has been a blur, busy, though I’m not sure with what, except to peer to desktop number six, the home of my calendar, to check my notes. The big block, just five days ago, now seems like weeks ago. The big block is Tuesday’s trip to the mountains under the graceful care of our friend Vanessa.

Sunday I had decided that I had been “cooped up” too long and I should honor the ancient longing to return to nature. It took a moment, good fortune of timing, and the unfortunate (and unintentional) inconveniencing of Ahlea whose wheels would be the means of my escape.

We drove long up the mountain, the Sunrise Highway taking us up through pine forests, the rich smell of earth and sap, intoxicating through the window on the winding road. The journey brings us along the ridge edge and steep slopes down for thousands of feet to the desert floor visible farther below than further away.

A quick lunch in the parking lot near the lake and out of the car to walk/roll along the paved road towards the horse camp, quiet and devoid of traffic save for the lonely ranger truck passing us with a wave on our way back.

While it felt a bit all day, the journey was also short, almost ephemeral like the dream, but with a meaning every bit as potent. Write. Breathe. Love. Live. Give these gifts as easily as scent upon the wind.

Indeed it was a busy week. Mountains, nursing, hospital for routine scans, revisiting old friends, accounting, study, practice, caring for others, writing.

A few more words before I go… A few more words, because there is a lovely longingness. A timeless circle in loving, loving to love, and feeling that love in the wholeness of the moment.

I also saw the movie Arrival again this week, speaking of words and circles and timelessness and writing.

I suppose longing is for a good ending. “What’s that?” I hear, “an ending?” With any luck my friends, we are just getting started…

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…