Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Swirls of light and shadow

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 7 months ago

Last light fading on the western horizon blends in a swirl with the clouds, dark in relief against the dimming blue sky high above.

My body is a bit disconcerted, some tube out of place, strap too tight, wrinkle in the fabric, or other misalignment giving rise to dysreflexia. Ironically this started just 10 minutes after Ms. Cassandra and brother David stepped out the door, and three hours prior to the next visitor when Nova will arrive in about 45 minutes.

The automobile sale transaction was notarized today, giving us the go-ahead for dominoes to start falling on Monday with a possible completion of the deal by Wednesday this week. By then we will hopefully be well on our way to confirming Yosibeth as our newest well-qualified member of the care team and with any luck, be secured in the hunt for an apartment.

The new mixture of magnesium and melatonin helped me to sleep just perfectly last night after turning in a little early. The early bedtime felt good, giving me some extra time to meditate before sleep. I woke and wrote this by text to a friend:

“Dreamt of you last night. 🙂

Lots of rich imagery. Dark stormy skies, post Soviet Cold War era ambience.

Large flat land, industrial factories, steam pipes and spotlights in the clouds.

I had just come from someplace dangerous, people with guns.

We met, and as usual, you wanted to just hang out for a bit.

We walked across a long Moorish place and onto industrial like dirt roads.

You were frustrated with me for something. And you had walked me intentionally on a route to disorient and make sure I didn’t know where I was.

I offered to just go and get lost. You almost excepted, but weren’t quite that frustrated.

We ended up in an apartment someplace. Your mom was there, lighthearted and smiling, encouraging me to just be loving with you. 🙂

The whole atmosphere was filled with your intelligence, strength, feistiness, and love. 🙂

I hope this finds you well and happy today! 🙂

Always lovely to be connected with you, even in the dark and foreboding places. :-)”

Rising was early, just after 4 AM, feeling well rested and settling into a nice long morning practice.

Cassandra came through the door just a few minutes after seven and I stirred to her attention a few minutes later.

The morning routine went smoothly and we were up and about by 8:30 AM. First order of business was a call to mom to wish her a happy birthday. I am most used to seeing her face by video in her little home office, but today was treated to the rare journey of up and around the house. She had a delightful time showing the various antique treasures that make up her living space, from a wall-mounted salt dispenser, blue glass Mason jars with lids unrecognizable to today’s standards, to a small knitted bag containing her baby teeth…

“Not just my memories, but those of others too…” She said of the rich array of artifacts dotting the kitchen counters and dining room table and beyond.

Photos of ancient relatives next to a bulletproof glass brick from her recent engagement on the New York City subway renovation project. The menagerie she has accumulated is certainly worthy of comment if not its own public showing…

Next was mundane tasks, scheduling a notary for the afternoon to stop by for the auto sale documents; scheduling and auto detailer for a quick clean to prepare the vehicle for delivery; correspondence with buyer, and other miscellaneous email as well as other bits of minutia.

My old friend Tracy has been on my mind so I reached out to her as well and cover with just a few minutes to catch up. She, like so many others I know have been having a rough time of it lately and I felt appreciative of the opportunity to drop a little love into her morning prior to her turning her full attentions to studying for her upcoming exam on her way to a nursing degree.

11 o’clock arrived and beloveds David and Elisa and Cienna made their way in the door. David had asked us all together to reflect with him on his newly emerging orientation. The initial anticipation was that the conversation would surround some fairly mundane concerns regarding powers of attorney, old records, and clerical matters of finance. Unsurprisingly, what arose instead was a deep sharing by him of the last 25 years of his life’s path, the recent karmic cleansing of his work with his father, and where that leaves him today, with entirely new eyes, new skin, and new clear vision of his deepest self and commitments going forward.

We started with 15 minutes of meditation, and ended with laughter and smiles and a peaceful excitement for what is yet unseen but emerging with no doubt.

We all had lunch together next, carrying on joyfully and then a seamless transition back into work mode. I reached out to a couple of possible care partners as I still have three care windows left to fill going forward. With a little help from my other mother from Jersey, tomorrow is covered which gives rise to a full week of good support with the next question being a full week away, next Saturday afternoon…

The notary stopped by and the documents went out to the bankers in Arizona. Some medical supplies shopping, and then a few more correspondences.

Elisa called from what we hope will be my next home to share some video walk around and take some measurements. We played with that for about an hour, her snapping pictures and reflecting on site while I began to doodle a map of spaces and figure which furniture might fit where.

I reached out my friend Bryan, a creative landscape architect and builder who had helped to beautify the front yard a few years ago. Regular readers will recall that the fountain out front has developed a leak somewhere and I was hoping he would have good guidance on resolution. I think he did, and with $10 expense and a little effort with Vanessa perhaps, we may just be steps away from a solution.

Nova will be here in a few minutes, it’s all the way dark now. I just heard a car door close, and there’s her voice from the front hall…

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