Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Suspicious elation.

Kabir Kadre|18 days ago

Oh that wily full moon. It has two entrances into my bedroom, one through a skylight – small and round, but manages to mirror the moon itself at times like this. This one captures the arc near entirely through the night. The second is the sliding glass doors leading to the porch and facing west. It’s not uncommon that the full moon manages to coincide itself with my nocturnal restlessness. Correlation is… They say and still I wonder.

It happens that when I am a awake in the earliest hours of a full moon morning, that it’s light streams brightly through those glass doors, teasing me with its brilliance. This morning was such a morning. I slept soundly for about three hours early in the evening, and then only cobbled together a few drowsy moments for the rest of the night. Morning came like an anchor line, firm and undeniable and yet there longed I grasping to the ocean floor, but rising was inevitable.

As I turned to convey these words, coming from a community alumni video chat conversation, I noticed a sense of elation threading its way through the day. Or was it just projecting its way through my threads of memory of the day? I’m yawning now, but there were definitely distinct moments of energetic engagement, where efforts felt fluid and easy.

I spent the morning working on drafting a MettaCare project proposal – making my way through a structured process of heaping collective intelligence from multiple threads of email, notes, and various conversation, and then culling and sorting that information into more refined textures, leading eventually to the first quarter draft of a linear explanation of:

What (Nature of the problem being addressed) ?

Who (The multiple parties, clients, families, staff, policy makers, etc.)?

Why (What difference does the proposed solution ’solve/improve’)?

Where will this be done? Start up…growth?

How (The philosopy/vision, structures/processes, trainings, client actions. Theories, i.e. Collective Impact, etc.) Structural form?

What does the Mature Change Look like…and Pathway there…i.e. What’s the Strategy?

How Much (The price tag in effort, dollars, resources, new alliances, etc.)?

How Measured and Improved (Change is continuous, how to improve: What the data/qualitative impact)

Never minding the years of work, dialogue, prototyping, writing, and refining on the subject, the threads dancing between David and Cassandra and Tyler and Mike and Dave and Eric and Dennis and myself and others recently have been producing treasures of insight, one after the other. Each of these could source golden threads of wisdom stretching long and far into the world. It is an honor and an elation the craft and needs together into the construct that is emerging.

Later in the day I found myself in dialogue with a new friend, introduced to me by Elisa. I had reached out to David (new David) to pick his brain around insights gleaned from his years working in service to elderly board and care facilities. David was more than helpful, even offering to act on my behalf should the need arise. Part way through the call I learned that David also runs a home caregiving and nursing service – something I may need to avail myself of in the coming weeks – and it struck me that he might be a perfect conversation partner for the MettaCare exploration, so rich and on the surface right now.

It was one of those nonlinear effervescent moments, so familiar to these days following sleepless nights, that led me to reach out to David today and it was with, again elation, that I received the serendipities of our dialogue. We have a lunch date next week to drop deeper into the realms of what shared insights and collaboration might be stimulated by the current explorations of MettaCare.

Exhausting my attentions for the brute force work of sculpting words to express vision, I gratefully turned my attention to a little breather for lunch.

To my delight, Tresa had stopped by today. She is in the midst of a massive transformation herself, having recently closed her room in the boardinghouse in preparation for a move to Oregon. Her life right now is a series of organizing details, saying goodbyes, and coming to grips with major life changes imminent. She arrived today in that sweet spot of road weariness, surrender, humility, commitment, and love. 🙂

Each time I see her lately I know that it is a precious rarity. Today was no different, and the mix was special; part co-working, part photo sharing, part carrying on, and part, but not final, goodbyes.

At a certain point, the tension in the flow of my working day broke like a water droplet rejoining the pond. It was just 45 minutes until the evening alumni community call. Did I mention the sense of elation communing with David, or that of communing with Tresa? The tension broke, and as I dropped helplessly back into myself, I turned my attention for a few moments to crafting an artifact – a PDF book, with cover and inscriptions, introduction, and prologue, binding together all of January’s entries from this journal.

It came together nicely and I’m planning on releasing it on my upcoming Patreon page, which I will of course announce here.

As I was turning my attention to writing these words this evening, I noticed that sense or thread of elation winding its way through my day, in particular I noticed its contrast to the tone of the previous recent days, often more subdued. I found myself suspicious, looking at a wafting from subdued to elated, I’ve seen that before, I know where it leads.

Tonight I will let go of any concern for pendulums, and simply retire hopefully to bed, that I might find myself swinging deep into a long and restful sleep.

Good night my friends, good night and good day.


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