Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Surrender…

Kabir kadre|6 months, 28 days ago

Incredible thunder last night! Lightning (though I kept my eyes closed) and pounding hail lulled me from my slumber.

There was something else. Yesterday I had complained of feeling low energy. Waking in the night, I could feel a sharp discomfort in my throat. While such discomfort is symptomatic of the pandemic virus, is also symptomatic of what Britni had earlier in the week.

By morning, my throat was fully expressed as a symptom of unwellness. I decided to sleep in.

Caitlin was in this morning, always reassuring as her competency runs wide and deep. After resting for a bit I texted her, “😷 🌡 “.

Oh life in the time of pandemic. Some have said this is precedented, but I think they might overlook some aspects of the context.

Caitlin came bringing water. I took that, and some colloidal silver for my throat. She offered an herbal throat coat and I took that as well.

I was torn, there is much work to do. I am by no means out of the woods, and while the world may rest heavy on my mind today, it is the local that I must address if I am to rise to the occasion of that world.

On the other hand, rumor has it that rest is good for healing and health.

Common sense won out over urgency and I lay back down to rest for a while longer.

After a moments peace, the phone rang. My dear brother Tomás – among the dearest of friends – with whom I speak too rarely was calling in to catch up.

We spoke for nearly an hour. The familiar laugh, the easy relaxed attitude, the humility, intelligence, and care made something of a social cocktail, and by the end of our conversation I felt energized, slightly less sore in the throat, and ready to rise.

Slow morning aside and I was thankfully to the office by just after 11 AM. The day was spent in mostly mundane tasks – I did get the privilege of thanking a new contributor to the campaign – and I managed to get a little time in the sun, something that is taking effort lately – just to get fresh air is a special moment right now.

As the afternoon passed away, I did manage to turn a little creative edge, first doing a little Facebook broadcast to explore where we might end up on the other side of this global experience, and more particularly how we might participate in getting there.

Bob Dylan released a new song today on an old subject. As I look around the world at the successes and failures of our modern rationalist capitalist approach, I’m reminded that we are where we are, and we got here along a certain path.

My doctor today reached out just to say hello by text. As we checked in, he recounted a truly incredible list of things he is working on right now – everything from supporting the development of simple home testing for Covid 19, to training an enormous number of doctors on telemedicine, to working on apps (in collaboration with others) to do necessary health tracking during the pandemic, to helping mobilize the 40,000 medical students ready and eager to work on the challenge.

We have overshot the mark. Our modern capital focus values an inordinate focus on the finance itself – certainly an important aspect of a fluid economic – but today at the expense of real-world value.

Fortunately for all of us, my doctor has faith. At the same time, though you would never hear it from him, we are failing to cover the basic costs of his debt from medical school, his modest family, and the overtime he gives to the field and countless of us within it.

I don’t mean to pick on him, it’s just such a ripe example today.

We’ve been on a road of wealth extraction, concentrating resource in the minds, hearts, and visions of a very few and not necessarily gifted individuals.

I’ve heard the case made, and while I may negotiate the numbers, I think the point stands firm that a single individual probably doesn’t have the intelligence or wisdom to direct resources worth much more than $1 million in service to themselves, humanity, and the ecosphere at large.

In the second creative act of the evening, Caroline and I ran around the house for an hour searching for a decent backdrop and camera angle to record a more compelling introductory video for the fundraising campaign.

After scouting about 10 locations and coming up empty-handed, I was back in the living room feeling the surrender of it. We might not have the shot after all. Perhaps if we could go outside, but the air is too cold today for that. My heart was breaking just a little, it seems such a simple task, why couldn’t I solve this thing!?

Caroline left the tripod with my phone in it to heed nature’s call, leaving me alone in the living room staring at the last shot.

“Funny,” I thought to myself – “that’s an interesting shot… But where would I fit in it?” That was it!

Caroline came back to find me revitalized on the subject and 10 minutes later we had the shot in the can!

That was 90 minutes ago. Now I’ve uploaded, corresponded, edited, and written this post and used nearly every minute of the remaining day. I’ll get dinner now and head to bed a little late. Caroline and I both a little weary from a long day, but I think happier for having had it nonetheless.


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