Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre


Kabir kadre|2 years, 2 months ago

Today definitely had a quality of summer. As Cassandra invited the question of what shirt I would wear today, I excitedly checked the weather to see if the bright blue sky outside was likely to be accompanied by a certain threshold of warmth… 77° said Siri. I grinned. “T-shirt please!”

Breakfast was the delicious farm style quiche that Caroline made just a few days ago, with a dab of yogurt on top. Served outside, warm food, in the warm sun, from the warm hands of Cassandra’s warm heart, without speaking it, this was certainly celebrating something.

Cassandra has been a stalwart part of my life for years now. Between regular shifts of care support and the time she has spent with David while he lived here, I have become quite used to her presence. The recent evolutions of our system has shifted those dynamics, I’m noticing, dramatically.

Cassandra is now here just three nights a week, busy quietly building her consulting practice and offering – mostly from home now that we are collectively weathering this storm. Her absence is palpable.

She was with me last evening and as we were making our way through dinner, we heard from Caroline that one of the pregnant goats at Elder Farm was giving her some worry and would it be all right if Courtney might cover for her in the morning. “Of course it was” we replied.

Given that Courtney had not yet responded to Caroline’s text messages and Caroline was committed to ensuring coverage herself if necessary, Cassandra and I agreed that it would be best if she (Cassandra) just stayed the night in the guest room and stepped in for me in the morning, trusting that we could get coverage for her shift (now) for Wednesday evening.

Great relief for Caroline and of course it all worked out reasonably well. Long way just to say that over breakfast it was nice just to be catching up with Cassandra, appreciating the garden which she cares very much for, and chatting about the state of the world.

After breakfast Cassandra took a few photos for me of the garden which is showing some of the fullness of spring, and we retired back indoors for the day’s work. I to the exercise on Purpose and she to a Zoom meeting to further develop her online teaching skills.

— We interrupt this broadcast for a note of celebration – I just received a text message from an incredibly generous benefactor and will henceforth be writing this entry as I am filled with gratitude for an enormous contribution to my MettaCare focused crowdfunding campaign. —

I worked for about 90 minutes, culling from memory those various bits of my life and experience that reflected certain aspects of purpose, things that have left – intentionally or otherwise – some wake of positive influence, places where I’ve experienced harmony, a wider perspective on life, turning points, or a sense of interconnectedness.

Cassandra, who would be here until about noon, asked if I would like to get that haircut we’ve been talking about recently and as she was serendipitously here in the daytime, it seemed like precisely just the thing.

Back outdoors we headed and off went the locks (such as they were ;-).

In the midst of this, Caroline arrived for the midday shift, Courtney having agreed to cover for Cassandra in the evening. Caroline was exhausted after staying up most of the night looking after laboring goats and having found just after 6 AM three new kids – two strong and healthy boys, and one extremely undernourished girl.

Care had been administered and reinforcement brought, and Caroline had made it down the hill to be with us for a while. Full of life and unapologetic character, she was champagne to our little midday party and Cassandra was particularly delighted for the possibility of photos and videos of the kid and gardens.

The last of the locks hit the ground and Cassandra dusted the bits of hair from me and the wheelchair while Caroline brushed up the bits from where the deed had been done, scattering the evidence into the flowerbeds to repel pests. With the jobs done, the three of us retreated indoors away from the now quite scorching summer-ish sun.

We chattered on a bit, getting the details and learning that there are still kids to come, and trials to be faced – the mother goat of concern still remains to give birth. After a bit I decided it was time for lunch and made my way outside again to make a few phone calls. I had heard a few rumors that there was high drama at the home of Parcelle and Laws and wanted to check in.

The sun was as hot as I recalled and by the time lunch was ready I had already returned to the shelter of the office, affectionately referred to as the “sunroom.”

Over lunch, Caroline and I took in one of the many countless expressions of creativity emerging from people and families attempting to occupy themselves in our collective time of purgatory. Which I promptly spammed over SMS as it was truly one of the most delightful offerings I’ve seen yet.

After that it was back to the process of Purpose which I’m appreciating more and more as I progress through the project. There is a dawning appreciation in me of what might be the power in seeing more clearly the lines of energy flowing through my various attentions as one mandala expression of intention. I’ve started to see glimmers of this as a result of some of Dave’s guidance that has helped to uncover the possibility of a MettaCare Integral Orchestration, and now this work is really bringing it into relief.

Courtney arrived at 3 PM and after catching up with Caroline and I for a while stepped out to do the shopping while I tended to some clerical business and my weekly engagement in benefiting from the wise and skillful guidance of Dr. Dan Brown. The weekly live meditation classes which I generally attend during these hours are understandably off-line for the time being and so, as has been the case on occasion I turned my attention instead to the more formal course offering for the afternoon.

The day has run late… It’s 8 PM here, by now I’m usually partway through dinner, but as summer days can do – this one has filled up and looking up to the last light in the fading sky, I’ll have to surrender the remainder for the morrow.



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