Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre


Kabir Kadre|1 year, 6 months ago

Solstice evening… The precise moment of the event was seven hours ago, the last light of this shortest day is fading fast as I write these words.

Ms. Molly has ventured up the hill in the cold on my behalf to photograph the Great Conjunction with the two planets stacked as close as they have been in ages.

Today certainly feels short.

Good news from Mike reviewing my foot this afternoon, things look like they are healing right along, though there is definitely still some tenderness. I felt a fair discomfort as he worked his magic with the soft tissue of the wounded appendage, but nothing unbearable.

Vanessa was having a bit of a bumpy ride this morning, Molly too now that I mention it, and Nova as well, and now that I’m thinking out loud, Elisa and Ahlea this morning, all mentioned some form of anxiety, frustration, or uneasiness making its way through.

Things did not go smoothly for me at points today as well.

As I was saying, Vanessa was running about 90 minutes behind today. I was waking up slowly anyway from a rather chaotic set of dreams, nothing terrible but plenty of dreamscape inconveniences going on there.

In the dreams there was a fair amount going well and to be enjoyed, but always wrapped in some larger context of dysfunction and unease.

I made do in the morning, reading emails and winding through some of the simpler to do’s for the day.

I had hoped to attend the meeting of a global group looking into emergent governance structures, alas better luck next time.

Upon rising we found our way to smoothies in the garden. The neighbor, Sabrina, was out and we managed to catch each other for the first time many months. They were just back from vacation, only mildly traumatized for the experience of trying to ski resort in the time of Covid.

Elisa waited patiently on hold while we were regaled with the story of a mother’s anxiety of keeping up with the kids in this strange new world.

I stayed in the sun for probably 30 minutes longer, drinking breakfast and continuing strategy sessions on the trust and parallel transformations of energy underway at Elisa’s house, documents ages old, and desks unused except to support the weight of those documents, ready to move on and find new shape.

Just as I came indoors, Alexis called to check up on me. He and his partner just recently finished the long anxious wait for exposure results, with good news at the end. We’ve been toying with doing an interview for some time now and started musing topics today.

I spent the middle of the day acclimating to the project I’ll be focusing on (among others) for the next few months. I opened with a call to Dennis, clambering a little inelegantly over a few of the login hurdles to the various tools will be using at the outset.

This was the part where things did not go smoothly… Dennis and I had enough fun playing together on the phone, and triumphed, ultimately, over gaining access to the various nooks and crannies of the software. It did however take some doing.

Then as I attempted to settle into the workflow of things, bugs continued to assert themselves in the process. I’ll admit to feeling some tension and anxiety in the thick of it, but in the end must say that I found the whole process just adding some texture to getting to know the project and finding my way within it.

The day was hot, in the sun. In the shade of the garage still it managed to stay quite chilly in spite of the mercury asserting otherwise outdoors. We left the heat off and doors open though, just to take some advantage of the sunny winter solstice day.

The darkness is deep outside now, rivers of traffic light flowing along the hillside and down the valley as people busy themselves with the general holiday efforts, however strangely distorted they may be feeling for so many today.


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…