Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Smoky Sunday

K|1 year, 8 months ago

Smoky Sunday, not sure the source of the contamination, but air is rated “unhealthy for sensitive populations” both here, up the coast, and into the mountains to the east.

The latest podcast from Katie references the monster and its constant proximity to the human. These murky talons and sharp teeth feel bourn and the fragile security of windows and walls, a narrow barrier of security.

I slept long, or so it seemed, but woke weary nonetheless. Late morning dream had to do with some anxiousness in a gathering, all friends, and in strength together, but something not quite connected, something amiss… Fears of the lower chakra, some insecurity unwinding itself in the subtle realms.

I thought I might wake up for some extra practice in the morning, but my eyes glimpsed the clock – just 20 short minutes before our formal engagement.

My stomach was out of sorts. Unsettled across some spectrum of my being, I decided to invite Patience – standing bright to serve – to walk the dog, enjoy some breakfast, and self tending of her own while I tested the feeling of resting a little longer.

Stomach funny, chest a little contracted, the unsettled mind…

“Just keep going…” One moment in front of the other.

Eventually I made my way up as we enjoyed Katie’s offering of interview. I found myself wondering, how many of us are there, actively asking the questions with heavy heart, light spirit, and sincere inquiry, of how truly to meet this moment of ecological crisis across the scales of life on this planet.

Could it be just 1% of humanity? 70 million people? That sure seems like a lot. Conception in terms of numbers really boggles my mind. Nonetheless, here I am, one, with my friend, one more, listening to Katie, another, interviewing a fourth. How many more? How many could it take to mesh a web of compassion wide enough and strong enough to hold the world?

Feeling the fragility of my situation and the time of the last week spent focused on the well-being of others, I had imagined I would attend today to sketching and marking the possible paths forward visible to me from here.

Quiet at the house. Just the lady, the pup, and myself. LB ordinarily would’ve been here for support this evening, alas his work lives today underneath his very own feet. We spoke a few moments ago, he sounds well enough, sheltering from the heat of the day and sleeping again in his car. Tomorrow, more phone calls to find what systems might support this young man to rise up again from this moment of humility.

His phone calls, not mine, though I have offered standby in support if that will be helpful.

Stephanie I think will stop by this evening to lift a little load from Patience in getting me to dinner and back to bed. Some stability then in the schedule through Friday afternoon. Much to unfold.

Not planning and design was the activity of the day, but basic tending to the organizational streams, a readyment of the ground, and correspondence instead, circling the subtle ethers of connection, binding those threads of mother spider into the chrysalis of next becoming. Poetic optimism perhaps, it’s just how I feel.

The heat wave persists, and will for a few more days.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…