Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Situation negative!

Kabir kadre|7 months, 2 days ago

That’s really the big news of the day that matters, Britni’s text this morning just before 9:30 AM to report the test result negative for Covid 19!

Britni is a single mother of two small children, a job in itself, let alone sick, let alone sick with “the plague.” A sigh of relief rippled through the community, starting I’m sure and most profoundly somewhere near the base of her spine.

Of course cheer and levity was the expression of that relief and an upshift of energy now that we all knew we were moving forward and not into further isolation.

An excellent fire drill nonetheless, and I think we are still catching up to the lessons that it held. Cassandra and Caroline and I celebrated today by not wearing masks, though there was still plenty of cleaning of surfaces going on.

Taking this contagion risk seriously really is a hard question that arises somewhere at the intersection of science and emotion… Where is foolish, where is serious, where is too much? My guess is that most of us can answer those questions pretty easily and pretty quickly in the moment, but I find those answers often get jelly legs when subject to further questioning…

So fire drill in the rearview mirror, I spent the day playing catch up and organizing the next push, and oh yes, sending out thank you letters to the eight new contributors to the crowdfunding campaign whose well wishes and support met me at the desk this morning. There were some familiar names, and some unfamiliar names – all of which a heart opening experience for me and a great way to begin the day, in gratitude.

Meanwhile, before the news of being in the clear, I slept mostly well last night, interrupted only a few times with the feeling like I was fighting some malaise.

My throat is generally uncomfortable – the result of a Zenkers diverticulitum which I have left unaddressed due to potential complications of the surgery (the tissue may be somewhat fused with the hardware from my spinal cord reconstruction) and a likely fairly inconvenient recovery period which could make it difficult to speak and therefore type and operate the computer.

So with the baseline of an occasional scratch in the throat, I woke up feeling hot and a bit feverish throughout the night. In the morning that was accompanied by some physical soreness and spasticity. Each of these are basic symptoms of coronavirus and a few other things. In particular the soreness and spasticity is a symptom of just having quit the antibiotics I was on for five days.

Today my temperature has been waxing and waning between a comfortable 98.6° and a slightly suspicious 99.4°, this on the tail of yesterday’s readings in the high 99’s and low 100s, which also oscillated between that and healthy readings.

So in the clear, not in the clear. Seems a very low likelihood of the plague, but a fairly good likelihood that I need to be on my toes about resting and nursing my immune system in order to beat whatever funk seems to be flowing through.

Hopefully with our fire drill under our belt, it will be even less likely for me to pass that on to any of my dear friends currently showing up to serve.

Caroline who put me to bed last night also graciously returned this morning to get me up so, not until 9 AM. She had never seen or done that routine before so we worked our way through it together after a sweet check-in between she and I and after a sweet check in between Lisa and I.

All told I was up and mobile by 9:30 AM which is in my book, quite respectable, given all things going on today.

Meanwhile our new friend and care partner who was due in for training this evening has also tagged out for the next little window of time while she tracks potential Covid exposure in her neck of the woods.

It’s so easy for me and I suppose others, to take life personally and get really focused on needs and concerns and aspirations and expectations from a “me” perspective. Meanwhile I’m finding that this incredible pandemic context with its social, political, global, environmental, evolutionary, and other implications has an uncanny capacity to direct my mind to greater tolerance and compassion for “just how things are” right now.

For now everything seems to be holding in place to various degrees, and I’m freshly aware of something Daniel Schmachtenberger drew into relief for me (although I’ve known it experientially) – efficient systems don’t handle perturbations well. Our own case in point.

I’m also excited by this realization as it opens the door to defining “efficient” in new ways…


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