Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Settling in

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 9 months ago

The air is red this evening, it’s just after 4:30 PM and we finally cooled down to an easy 99°. The report read 106° earlier, not sure I’ve ever seen or heard of that in San Diego before.

Weird is the new normal.

Looks like we are calling it the Valley Fire and it’s been dumping ash and darkening the sky here at the house all day creating a surreal atmosphere of strange light and dim inside the house. The air conditioner has kept it cool, but the light outside reminds us easily of our protected privilege.

Last night got all the way down to 81° – I’m noticing a theme of my attention right now… I woke briefly someplace near the 2 o’clock hour, feeling the heat, but slept again easily enough.

The dream in the night took me to some music festival held in a large house. I was able bodied and enjoying some station of honor. I remember we got valet parking and I found myself shortly thereafter dancing with the musicians on the stage.

The band was They Might Be Giants, an old favorite. I remember seeing them play many decades ago at the Top Hat in my hometown. I was a teenager at the time and it was an all ages show, back in the day when the now Lounge was just a bar.

In the dream I was dancing near the drummer and there was no accordion so I think who’s ever in charge of these things must’ve been taking some artistic license with the imagery. After the concert, the bands and a handful of others were mixing on a private floor of the home. I was speaking to a man and a woman was present whom I thought I recognized.

I turned to the woman and realized she was not who I thought she was. At that moment she and the man departed and the drummer who was the fourth in our conversation noticed her, attracted, and took off after them, smashing his drink glass with dramatic rock ’n’ roll flare as he went.

In the dream I could tell my consciousness was non-ordinary, it seemed to me to be a relatively awakened awareness, if you’ll pardon the paradoxical nature of that circumstance. Recognizing the danger of the broken glass I went about cleaning it up and picking the bits out of the deep blue shag carpet.

Later I would have a third encounter with the drummer – this time facing him in a non-condemning way, just supporting his realization as he appeared to be taking in his own recognition that his actions were not living up to his aspirations.

As the dream wended on from here, next to a courtyard covered cafeteria where I found myself sitting in conversation with an old friend from that era of shows at the Top Hat. The crispness of my consciousness in the dream began to fade at this point into more of an ordinary and eventually dreamlike awareness.

The dream closed with me walking back from the garage, having forgotten something at the cafeteria…

I woke to the sound of Patience’s alarm clock near 5 AM and rested in the heat of the morning from there. It’s been a relatively long haul lately here, on the tail of Patience moving in and Stephanie and August out sick and young LB to coming up to speed. Not to mention the heat and my spasticity, I found it prudent to get a late start this morning as the lady P would be tending me both this morning and tomorrow, the latter being a final training day with Vanessa.

I kept resting recovering from two days of intense spasticity and rose late to meditate, beginning the day on the right foot. As we started the day we listened together to an interesting counterpoint of podcasts, the first – an interview by a mystic woman with another woman speaking from indigenous histories around the world, the second – the conversation between a mystic man and the embodied academic mind of another gentleman whose views were coming from a distinctly different place.

After some deliberate body care arose finally to a late breakfast and to complete my latest assessment report before attending to the weekly review and preparation for the coming.

From there the day has been spent continuing the move-in, integrating two kitchens and continuing the training of Mr. LB.

I think my efforts at hydration today, combined with a little magnesium oil on the skin this morning have helped to mitigate the intense spastic response I’ve been having of late to the weather.

The evening I think will be focused on some correspondence and the first of our formal triad house meetings, settling in…

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