Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Saturday heat and quiet

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 9 months ago

Writing earlier this hot and sunny Saturday afternoon. It’s been a bumpy morning of sorts, mostly just due to a persistent discomfort of autonomic dysreflexia.

The source is unclear and I’ve managed my attention by focusing on low intensity tasks like simple email correspondence, digesting a few short articles, and listening to some pundits share their reflections on the current crypto market status and the phenomenon of DeFi.

I was up earlier than has been the norm lately, to the desk by 9 AM even after testing my wakefulness with a period of closed eyes after getting dressed and before rising.

Sleep was heavy and dark, I do believe there were dreams but they were barely a memory even at the moment of waking. I was awake before my alarm, but rested through it playing for 15 minutes before sitting up to begin our group meditation.

Lady Cassandra was here this morning to help me with the day, and her bright and enthusiastic smile entering the room for our shared meditation was a beam of the most loving appreciation. Sitting down and glowing to Patience, she said past glimmering teeth, “the house feels so amazing for this!”

We’ve been sitting consistently each morning for 12 days now, looking forward to 120.

I’ve made my way outside a few times, once after breakfast (smoothie), and once for lunch – a delicious cheese and veggie sandwich with warmed mushrooms and toasted bread – though not as hot as recent days, and the air cleaner than it has been in a while, I had to avoid the direct sunlight or risk feeling what I was peeling within moments.

Even reflecting on this now, just a few minutes back from outdoors, I can feel my head tingle at the crown ever so slightly.

Cassandra just brought my midday supplements and we took the moment of her company to help me put the many objects on my desk back in order. It’s been a long time since my desk was a place where work would collect to be done, or more likely to be ignored. Instead, today, it’s largely a collection of artifacts of goodwill and aspirations of well-being for all, interspersed with a few tools (pens, candles, microphones, etc.).

I haven’t dared my attention towards the news today, wanting to let the reverberations of the passing of dear Ruth move their initial course through the culture a few moments before turning in to the likely intense reaction brewing from multiple quarters.

Today marks, I believe, the 100 year anniversary of Pramahansa Yogananda setting foot on American soil from his home in India. He would go on leaving his mark on this little continent for the next 32 years directly and his body has rested, if I understand correctly, in a field in Los Angeles for the 68 years hence.

His would certainly be an interesting view to have on hand today.

The discomfort has not subsided entirely, but at least retreated to a low-grade annoyance. I would like a cup of coffee, but remain suspicious the effects of such a dose of caffeine would have on my nervous system in light of the recent disruptive spasticity.

I’ll likely have water instead. And maybe some fruit.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…