Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Same as it ever was.

Kabir kadre|2 years, 2 months ago

This morning broke the trifecta.

The first thing I knew was that the clock read something slightly after 6 AM which, given a little quick algebra meant quite simply that I had rested solidly through the night for the first time in days.

Next in line was a morning meditation in a refreshed body surrounded in spaciousness and the good fortune and grace to find my way to a deeper consistency in the process, residuals of which seem to be remaining with me to the moment.

Finally, contrary to the forecast, as I made my way from the bedroom to the day I noticed sunshine coming through the window at the front of the house. It was not yet 9 AM and I decided to introduce a little hookey into the picture. Hanging a right where I usually jig left, I made my way out into the morning air to soak up the first sunshine in days.

After taking some time to smell the flowers, fire up the old vitamin D factory, and snap a few photos for the archives, I took one more deep breath of fresh air and made my way back into the house feeling fully blessed and ready for the day. Tonally this was a nice way to begin I thought, one, two, three, and on the beat…

I was on my way to settle in to the desk and prepare for an informal video conversation with an old friend whom I haven’t connected with in years, now living in the Netherlands. Easy enough, first on the list is check the campaign to keep on top of the practice of gratitude…

One, two, three… Trifecta! Wait!? What’s this? Four!

One of my oldest and dearest friends had made an appearance in the guestbook and a contribution pushing us over the 60% mark towards the goal. Most importantly, this now meant that not only did I get a deep rest, good meditation, and sunshine on my face, but now the privilege and surprise of being called to compose a love letter to one of the most important people in my life.

I’m not quite superstitious, but neither am I quite not. This just felt like decadence.

It was out of this ambrosia rush that I landed, smiling and laughing, into the lap of the creative and dynamic play that is my ongoing dialogue with Russ. It really has been years since we spoke, and the meter was familiar and comfortable and easy. Russ and I met at the Generating Transformative Change program deep in the woods of the Hood Canal, now well over a dozen years ago. As such, our conversation started those years ago in the depths of transformative soup, vulnerability, and the curiosity that goes with it when held well.

It was nice to catch up though I did come away with sweet longing to know more as I’m pretty sure I did most of the talking today. Again, we’ll have to catch up again.

Coming off the call I noticed the text message coming through from Eliana announcing her presence in the front yard. What is this? My birthday?

I found Eliana when searching last year for someone to come and fix the somewhat disheveled condition of the front yard, to breathe new life into an indigenous landscape, honoring the migratory butterflies, the local hummingbirds, bees, and other critters whose home we share. Gardens for the Future was the name of her offering, making it a little hard for me to miss.

She won my heart immediately, wandering around the yard speaking Latin and recoiling from the various foreign and invasive species we were found to be harboring. We have become fast friends ever since.

Of course in the context of the current pandemic our monthly movie nights have faded for the time and this marked an infrequent visit, an opportunity to venture out the door and find some camaraderie and conversation with another point of view embodied in the flesh.

I found her hunched over the hillside along the south side of the house and she made her way over towards the patio, first maintaining our prescribed distancing, and we spoke of smells of sage and other greenery, the importance of supporting people to feel themselves in their bodies in this time of unsettling, and planning tweaks to the landscape, now just starting to show signs of fullness after our initial planting of infant plants.

70 minutes later I had had just enough sun and was feeling not just caught up in the D department, but perhaps a little on the edge of a pink scalp given the current shortness of my hair. Time to adjourn indoors and make my way to the tasks of the day.

I had some client billing to do as well as tuning the backend of the website to better handle what I hope is an increasing visitor and client load.

The remainder of the afternoon was focused on the next section of the MettaCare project proposal development – starting to elucidate the observations that have surfaced over the years regarding the efficacy of our ongoing prototype. The first section of this draft of the project was simply telling my own story, more of a creative writing endeavor, the next legs will be much more research intensive as I find my way through the reams of work we’ve already done in collaboration with one another and others to uncover the many gems of wisdom that will come together to enrich this narrative telling.

I can feel new muscles and new intelligences coming into play, stretching, and finding their legs. I wrote a grant last year (unfunded) to the John Templeton Foundation and really had to learn to refine a message and fit it into a particular format. I sense those skills will come to bear here, although this will be the next level of listing for an audience and framing the story, with a bit more room to breathe.

As the 5 o’clock hour neared its end, I could feel my attention slipping and decided to finish the day in a few minutes of art play bringing a terrific photo that Cassandra snapped the other evening of the phosphorescent tide through my process of Photoshop tweaking and eventual subjugation to digital filters designed to emulate traditional paint media. It’s a playful and relaxing technique I’ve developed in the process of bringing my own structures of visual aesthetic to life.

Cassandra is still recovering from a long weekend leaving Courtney and I to dance the evening deepening our new friendship and giving her the opportunity to really smooth herself into the systems, process, and culture here.

The light is fading, the sky a soft blue overhead dipping to that yellowish white that follows the sun over the horizon. The front door was open most of the day, letting in the sounds of the waterfall, birds, and clean spring air. It’s good to remember place and time that move through cycles and evolve without concern, I am a part of those things and they of me.

I find it reassuring to ground myself in that as I listen to the news announcing that more people have died in my town today than any other day from this pandemic, remember the uncertain nature of my tenure in this home, work to craft a leadership invitation that is well beyond anything I have done before, and seek to build a life of integration unlike one I have ever known.

Uncertain times and still, the wind blows, the sun shines, lives come onto this world and others exit, same as it ever was… Same as it ever was.



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