Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

One of those days…

Kabir kadre|2 years, 3 months ago

The weather report says rain, the light agrees, but the sky has barely spit today. High cumulus clouds drift against a backdrop of blue, sunlight coming and going here on the ground while the wind teases blustery day between moments of calm.

It’s cold though, that much is constant.

Britni was back this morning, on her birthday, with smiles and gratitude to be here. The smiles for friendship, and the gratitude for the culture that we cultivate together – one that calls us to be our best, and to learn and grow with each new moment.

After a good nights rest, I was awake early and meditating when she arrived. I shifted my habit this morning and after meditation, instead of calling her back as I would anyone there to care for me in the morning, I chose to take just a few more minutes of stillness myself, readying to spring into the day when hands appeared.

We had a lovely check-in and rose quickly, bringing me to the desk and neighboring hillside by 8:30 AM. This is the earliest, I think my day has begun all month.

The morning was correspondence by email and now new social media platforms as comments are starting to flow on Twitter from this blog, and conversations picking up with my newly widened Digital Commons space on Facebook. I made my way to that precious thank you letters portion of the day which I am so privileged to enjoy as a result of my fundraising campaign.

My energy was high and bright through this portion, even finding some spontaneous new opportunities emerging with the community on Facebook – just a teaser there, more to come on that as it perhaps unfolds…

I scheduled a conversation for the afternoon with my friend Said, and turned to clearing out some overdue reading.

Midday was a review meeting with my friend David from the UCSD lab where I’ve been getting annual high-resolution bone scans, to go over the report of my recent results. This is the third year I’ve done these scans. Last year’s report was quite momentous as the improvements I made (in no small part due to our MettaCare efforts), bordered on the scientifically miraculous.

Going in for the test this year I was quite curious, knowing that I have been both leaning into the nutrition and exercise components, but had also spent the previous quarter absent much of the exercise and heavy on the stress. The results reflected this quite nicely. The numbers showed I had managed to erase about 1/3 of the gains made the previous year. No surprise, and with luck I can turn around the stress and exercise component and see if we can reclaim those losses by this time next year.

Our debrief was by video as it is every year, but this time we had that special quality of everything being by video these days. We took the first 20 minutes or so just to appreciate the intensely ambiguous state of our social, communal, and professional contexts. As I continue to look to the people around me, I will stay curious and caring as the response to this pandemic situation continues to unfold.

I shifted gears after that to catch up with Said, a brilliant thinker who uses the Spiral Dynamics model to appreciate, work with, and predict cultural movements.

As I write these words, the tone of the day described seems rich and full, at the same time, my live experience has been much more groggy and a little out of sorts. I’m still deciding if it’s me feeling a little under the weather still, or whether the caffeine I’ve been enjoying the last few days, absent today, really has that much impact.

Nonetheless I spent the rest of the afternoon just kind of picking my way through correspondence, some clerical forms, and minor computer repairs, not really able to wrap my head around any substantive coherent creative work.

Maybe it’s the lack of exercise building up the depressive chemicals in the system, my coffee or Qualia seems to cut through that, probably not the best long-term solution, but may be necessary for now.

In any case, I’m going to enjoy a little cheerful company as Cassandra and I will take in movie night this evening, and then retire to rise with a more fierce determination tomorrow…

Wish me luck 🙂

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…