Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
Blog

November 8

Kabir Kadre|25 days ago

Time is starting to dilate here in the hospital.

There is some glimmer of hope of extrication, though not until Friday it seems at the earliest.

Aunt Mary and Elisa and Ahlea today begin the boxing and moving out of things from Mill Peek, the home we have kept for 13 years.

Both Stefanie and Vanessa confirmed that they could return to work with me as soon as the end of this week and into next.

My body is feeling a little stiff and sore from so much time in bed. With luck physical therapy begins tomorrow, in earnest, already my body for the coming work should I receive the blessings to go forth from this place and into the plan…

Find care, sell the house and car, establish public assistance, move into a modest housing, small apartment or condo. Get a job, build.

as for the housing, it should be accessible, ideally have smooth rollable floors, good light, access to outside and some nature, and have at least two distinct rooms, one where I could work privately with clients, and another where care partners can work apart on that.

Everything beyond that would be luxury.

Tomorrow will be Monday, I will continue meetings with hospital caseworkers, social workers, and financial advisors to move forward on creative exit strategies.

I will launch my search for care once again, and relist the car for sale. These I will do amidst how much stronger focus on body care. I know the skin breakdown is healing slowly, relative to what we can do at home, perhaps even stalled or regressing given the mattress online, and my inability to direct it’s sitting up or down without the aid of others.

The view again today was dramatic, oscillations of sunshine, clear skies and luminous clouds, with overcast gray, drizzles, and the occasional sheet of rain.

Sunset was beautiful, reflecting off the buildings, no not quite so sublime as yesterday.

The lawyer called, preempting our need for a meeting tomorrow. He has agreed to work with us on timing of the payment for the trust, and advised that it is fine to wait until the house goes into escrow to initiate that.

Prayers continue to come in from others around the world, and with each whisper of love, I find myself grateful to be bearing some of the hurt of the world right now, but so many of us are carrying, often with less capacity than I for these things. Like the nurse last evening, struggling in contemplation of a possible third divorce, who then asked me about meditation and how it might help.

Meditation is not to relieve our own suffering, I pointed out, but rather to wake up and not to be confused by these wilds of form and experience.

That seemed to land a bit. He came back to my room this evening smiling, sad that he was not on my service, but promising that he would be working to be reassigned tomorrow.

Slowly, “too slowly,“ we do what we can.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…