Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

My best aspirations of the day…

Kabir kadre|2 years, 2 months ago

One of the great privileges of my life is the de facto membership I hold in the growing body of alumni from the Pacific Integral Generating Transformative Change program of evolutionary leadership development.

Today I come to write these words fresh from the monthly online gathering and dialogue of that community. While the name might seem a mouthful for some (generally just referred to as GTC), anyone who knows me will likely recognize that such a string of words is likely to spark glimmers in my eyes.

As is often the case after one of these group video engagements, I’m feeling a heightened sense of warmth and tingle in my heart center.

To be fair the warmth I’m feeling in the present moment has also been nurtured in the 45 minutes since the close of that engagement by the warmth and cheer I am privileged to be enjoying here at home this evening with Caroline preparing her exceptional vegetarian sushi in the kitchen, and our new partner in training, Courtney blessing the space with her curiosity, attention, and effort.

As if that weren’t enough, the final minutes before turning to the evening’s writing exercise were spent in correspondence by email, sending a message to an old friend with whom I’ve not connected for probably a decade, and receiving messages from two other friends, each with a certain spiritual quality to our connection, but again infrequent in the more overt signals we send across those threads.

So there’s that, five paragraphs on the subject of how and why I might be feeling a little cheerful as I turn the attention to sharing here.

The conversation on the group call this evening was, perhaps unsurprisingly, Covid 19 and the nature of our current situation both personally, collectively, and globally.

In a certain sense, the point of my life as I see it is really to lean into a tremendous aspiration and unflinching optimism for a possible goodness and beauty transcendent of the pain and suffering of the moment. While this appears, to some degree, as a personal aspiration, the tendency of the emotion as it grows through my being, expressed into the world, is more of a vision for what is possible for us as a species.

As a young teenager I was often accused of holding “unrealistic utopian” ideals. I’m glad to say that I have not released my grasp on those seeming apparitions, but have instead continued to intensify the force of my longing and sense of their increasing possibility.

When I reflect in this moment on the recent efforts to prevent the total collapse of my built systems of support, engagement, and creativity, it is simply for this aspiration towards optimism of a global well-being to permeate the ecosphere that I am truly inspired to live. That, and of course, the realization of Awakening in all aspects of being, of course those two are probably the same thing. ?

As I mentioned in this log yesterday, the current nature of our global crisis touching into terms personal, cultural, practical, economic and in great senses systemic, feels like it could possibly be a rare and exceptional opportunity to move something, somehow, in some way towards a kind of tier shift, some movement from one octave of our collective biosphere expression, to another…

So I’m asking myself, who, how, what shall I be and do, to persist in that inquiry in the most generative, skillful, and wise way?

Fortunately, today, I’ve had some rest. Thanks to the advice of my Chinese medicine informed friend, I was able to take a few supplements and some tea last evening that seemed to help me surpass the recent 2 AM wake-up call.

Not quite playing catch up this morning, but definitely rose to make my way through a variety of general bits, which today auspiciously included some new client work, and the possibility of more to follow on the back of that. Now that I reflect on it of course there was a little catch-up I played, just getting on top of correspondence that felt important to keep fresh and some basic bookkeeping that had been collecting a bit of dust as my attentions were drawn to apparently more urgent concerns through the fog of my somewhat sleepless week.

I got to find my way to another prototype of presenting “live video” in the social media space, taking a run at exploring the idea of suffering and the ways I think of the Buddhist view of 6 realms. I’m finding it quite important, a bit like breathing or eating, to create and vitalize channels of creative expression that can be perceived and engaged by others. These words are of course one of these avenues, but my aspiration again is to find even more diversity and robustness in the expression.

An hour ago Caroline asked me if I thought I would like dinner before we joined a global meditation at 7:45 this evening. At the time, I laughed – “that’s in an hour and 1/2,” I said, “I’ll definitely eat before then.” The confidence now looks silly in reflection. Looks like I’m eating late tonight.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…