Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Moving into the 11th hour…

Kabir kadre|2 years, 3 months ago

Oh dear, I had hoped to return to help and continue that topic today. Alas my eyes are glassy and I know that will take more than I have been me now to give. With luck I will revisit yesterday’s topic tomorrow.

In the meantime, I’m nearing the top of the 10th hour of uninterrupted work today after another slightly failed nights rest. I will strive not to ramble long, but to offer something of merit in the moment.

Sadly, Lisa will not be joining me in person this week. In case I had failed to mention, an old friend of some decades now had planned to spend the week here from Milwaukee in service and support to my process in navigating my personal expression of the transformation we are clearly all going through together right now.

But the buzzword of the day is, and probably wisely, “voluntary quarantine.” Yesterday we had begun to speak of the possibility that it would be “socially responsible” for her not to travel, though we were still weighing in the balance the value of her presence here and agreed to revisit the subject today.

The first clue was murmurs on the news of possible domestic flight shutdowns and the nail in the coffin on the idea was the state of Wisconsin considering refusing to readmit any of their citizens having traveled to the perceived crisis zones which now happens to include California.

Even as I write these words, text messages are coming in about our governor insisting that seniors should shelter in place, bars, wineries, etc. are to close, and other measures that are new to me in this life.

So this afternoon with some melancholy but generally peaceful resolve, we canceled her tickets, planning instead to collaborate over videoconference. Lisa’s brain provides a tremendous synergy to my own, and perhaps in some other lifetime we were married, related, or maybe even the same person. In this lifetime however her counsel is of high value to my thinking.

So after the mornings ritual of weekly review, I turned my attention to conversations with Lisa and Elisa independently to explore their wisdom on the path forward. I also spent time looking both at our global situation with the pandemic, and my own unique expression with my dear aunt and uncle who have come forward to inquire and stand by me in this journey. I did say I wasn’t going to cover help today, but this kind of care moves and nourishes the soul.

With inspiring and supportive conversations setting the tone, I moved in the afternoon hours into the process of establishing (nearly complete) the ability for people to subscribe to this blog. Still struggling with some technical difficulties there, thank you for your patience. And hitting the dead end there, focusing completely on establishing the crowdfunding campaign which may just help me shoot this gap after all.

The (E)Lisas mentioned above now have the draft campaign in their hands and I hope to be ready to launch in the next 24 to 48 hours, at the very least this will open up new lines of energy and dialogue in this harrowing escapade.

Tomorrow I hit the ground running – medical services reestablished after leaving the hospital, I will have a home health nurse here in the morning to change the suprapubic catheter, a minor detail that has been weighing on my mind with no one (formally) around to address that rather technically skilled aspect of my care.

After that, it’s termite remediation inspection, trust attorneys, medical appointment scheduling, and following up to answer more questions on Budget Zero (the initiative to redesign my approach to finance and resource from the ground up rather than trying to translate what I’ve been doing into this new and uncertain future.) These questions include public benefits concerns, what and how am I allowed to earn, and where can those earnings go, if anywhere to protect my access to care.

Finally the afternoon will bring me back to the loving work of coaching and consulting with my STAGES clients and somewhere in there I’ll have to powwow with Lisa to plan our week together in virtual engagement.

Now I’m just running on fumes. Thank you for your friendship, thank you for your care, I hope I will offer something of more substance tomorrow. ??

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…