Marathon in the midst of eternity
As if running a marathon, a techno beat rolls out of the speakers and into my body, Moby doing his thing, the day feels long again, weary, darkness falling, miles left to go, resolved just to finish the race.
This certainly doesn’t feel like first place, but I’m a long way from last place. Each runner has their own race, it is who we become for the running that makes the difference.
I went back on the melatonin and kava last night. Slept without flinching for eight hours even. That alone brought a smile to my soul on waking. Again waking to dread – how dare I recall any hopefulness from yesterday – but remembering, heart open, seek generosity of spirit and being for others, gratitude for all that has been given me.
Meditation, stretching, bowel movement (more evidence of my subtle return of function), wound care – still healing, good news there.
After meditation, a great teacher whispers into my email inbox offering counsel today at two and a gift. Joyfully I accept.
Two mornings in a row, the days begin with meaningful gifts. It is important to remember this. May all beings be this fortunate.
At my desk by 10:15 AM – phone calls with a couple close collaborators, setting the tone, direction, renewing bonds and omnidirectional care support.
Generative meeting set for tomorrow, a new friend, not yet even met, offering sincere care and inquiry, possibly even professional work to be done.
Out into the garden, the heat now past and the days feeling more like autumn. The sun lower in the sky, not quite so intense, makes sitting by the pond to meditate in the warm light quite pleasant and peaceful, no sunburns to pay.
Stephanie and I meditated there for about 15 minutes. Time next to sit with the great teacher.
The call was precious, as these are want to be, quickly I could feel my best self rising to the surface, and then breaking over the boundaries, a cool wash of the justice and harmony and beauty flowing through the crafted sculpture, and out coming into the ocean of Perfection.
I came away reminded of the importance and unshakable accessibility of that which is most valuable, the Spirit of Love and Guidance. None of my current tribulations threaten this, if I only remember.
Oatmeal was long ago, a cup of coffee only half drank, a sandwich in order. “Burned again” said Stephanie of the toast. She burns it perfectly every time, crunchy, but no flavor of exposed carbon.
Hopping through tasks next, a quick clerical recap – where am I? What can I clear?
Short call with mom over face time is cut gently when Kari rings in. She’s completed looking over my draft of application to The Ready. I click submit.
Another dream job application. Two now in less than a week. I will be asking for more leads like these tomorrow (of course feel free to jump the gun and share what you know ;-).
An email from Dean, refining next steps on polishing my web presence, working for the best. I outlined the project as I see it, like tennis, little yellow ball back to Dean.
Then the big rock of the day – document production: 2020-10-21 Situational Assessment – Ground Zero Kabir. Watershed dates begin in just nine days. Much to be determined between here and there. Finance clarity, Care, Housing, Car… The resources on hand list is not short, knowledge, social, cultural, financial, natural, health, etc. All currencies well represented.
Document shared with close collaborators for feedback, and printed for immediate care partners to see hard copy.
Vanessa is doing something creative again in the kitchen for dinner. There’s an art photo that needs to be taken on the corner of my desk.
Denise will be in in the morning for catheter change at nine.
God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…