Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Living inside the music…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 6 months ago

Somehow today echoes. Like a spacious auditorium devoid of bustling bodies, a sense of emptiness, almost cavernous, or maybe it’s just me.

Late afternoon coffee revisited me last evening about 2:30 AM, and from there on the morning was mostly wakeful, with only intermittent sleep for the next five and half hours.

I woke to a text from Molly whom, recognizing we were on austerities here (a.k.a. Staying in bed long so as not to overtax Nova who would be my soul companion for the day), was reaching out to offer to come in and support.

We are on a low likelihood covid watch here, but a watch nonetheless, and I thought it best to play to caution, if not necessarily practically, at least as a matter of principle. As the world continues to weird, it might not be a bad idea to just run austerity drills on occasion…

So late morning. Spacious, empty.

Maybe the spaciousness, the echo, is related to a musical instrument… Like today is a wind instrument or something… There have been movement on the strings, no doubt (this is starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss instrument), late morning coffee with Nova, moving on to the midday spent largely with friends at Project Apollo gathering for the monthly meeting, this time just Zoom for open-ended holiday gathering…

I just had to stop that sentence before it went on.

I spent some time on the phone with Elisa helping to do some computer shopping for the Via video media department which led me back to studying podcasting and vlogging equipment that I daydream to work with in the coming year.

Thanks to Elisa’s legwork, we also opened the Trust account today which paves the way to complete the asset transfer and secure the subsequent social services and care support. I found myself working off of yesterday’s Project map, discovering it to be even more useful in real time than I’d imagined.

Already little blocks of time are starting to trickle their way out of my head and onto the weeks calendar coming up.

The meeting with friends online was a stark reminder of my good fortune. Such an incredible and melodic echo of individuals come together in community, each bringing significant life’s work to the table in such a mandala and combination as to leave one thinking, there’s just nothing this group couldn’t do.

In the late afternoon we were treated to a visit by Nova’s darling daughter, Darla here for a short play date. It’s been some years since I’ve seen her, but she is every bit as bright-eyed as I’d recalled and I was tickled as well to learn that she remembered me, from what must’ve been half her life ago.

The ladies played together while I studied the recently released guidance from the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, the guidance itself almost a crime. They released the guidance for public comment today about 4:30 PM Eastern time, with a 15 day comment period over the holidays, time aside, the period is half that recommended, if not 1/4 given the potential significance.

The justification laid out had to do with the concerns for illegitimate applications of virtual currencies which they estimated somewhere between 10 and 119 billion globally. Kind of a laughable concern when a quick Google search paled those numbers just for the domestic use of cash for a fraction of the same concerns.

A friend of Nova’s visited today with Darla and commented on departure about “the feeling of your house” as being really lovely. A week ago I was happily resolved to move on from the property, but Elisa has asked that we postpone the decision for a little further due diligence as to whether there might be some way to stay in the house.

The comment today echoed an enormous volume of previous visitors, and left a bit of a pang in my heart to think of letting that go. Writing this out loud is helpful as I realized that if we do depart Mill Peak, we will be leaving that good energy for future occupants.

As early evening crept in and light faded from the sky, I reached out to my faraway daughter, she just waking up tomorrow for her birthday half a world away and traveling with her partner in northern Thailand. We spoke for the better part of an hour as she toured me through a handful of the various corners of her life.

It feels rewarding to have had some small hand in helping this beautiful human come to the world in the ways that she does, fascinated by education, language, nature, and walking lightly upon the earth. She was glowing on this morning, having completed a quarter-century of life, heart full and looking forward to the next 25 years…

It’s been a full day, yet somehow empty. Awareness perhaps the wind, the people and the home, like the walls of an instrument, and the strings, a wind and stringed instrument… Like living inside the music.

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