Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
Blog

In motion…

|4 months, 7 days ago

The house feels different… Maybe the house feels the same, maybe I feel different.

Just back from a week and a day in meditation training with the masters of the Pointing Out Way. Exquisite. In 25 years in the field I’ve never seen such a clear transmission of the essential ethic and principal of the practice. With a little luck, may something of this wisdom take hold in me.

Most of the furniture has gone out of the house in preparation for Eugenia to stage the place with a more neutral, “sales friendly” atmosphere. There is a bit of an echo and Vanessa made her way around today, learning to spackle as she filled in evidence of past pictures, blackboards, and electronics hung.

I’ve been sleeping well the last few days, without the aid of supplemental magnesium or melatonin, and without stirring the night for the first time in over a year. Today I’ve been up and out of bed, feeling reasonably strong and well for the longest time since my birthday near the first of the year.

There was rain this morning before I woke, clouds through the day and cold. Mike visited in the afternoon refusing cold coffee, preferring it warmed reminding me of the world outside.

I came out of meditation retreat to learn that a friend and colleague had passed recently. Dying in the way she had lived, on her own terms, and with strong relationships sharing the journey. I received the news within an hour of the formal closing of the practice.

Tomorrow promises to be a long day again as I find my way through these natural path stones along the way to the next chapter. It strikes me the next chapter may have begun already and I, in my common humanity am just poking along business as usual, only to discover myself retrospectively having entered new territory; the sudden awareness that the terrain is changed… Or maybe chapters are an illusion…

I feel closer to the creative discipline of the podcast medium and look forward to refining the structures of that new practice.

My words feel echoing like the empty house around me, thoughts in the mind not quite taking hold before giving way to the empty space from which they come. I was moved to write today not feeling the voice to broadcast, but wanting to reach out just to say thank you, hello, I love you to the world.

And on… A belated Losar Tashi Delek to us all…


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…