Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

I’m not sleepy I’m just resting my eyes…

Kabir kadre|2 years, 2 months ago

Hard day for GSD (getting things done), didn’t sleep last night and when I tried to lay down today for a nap, I couldn’t even do that.

Perhaps it’s the delirium, but I’m feeling a little productive anyway. I managed to clear my crypto inbox of the various newsletters reporting on distributed and decentralized techno finance alternatives as well as make a few phone calls to some dear ones who have, over the last 24 hours push the fundraising campaign over the halfway mark.

I also managed a telemedicine appointment/friendly catch up with my friend and doctor, Mike.

I started the day with the biweekly visit from the home health nurse who generally saunters in like a casual superhero to change my suprapubic catheter before vanishing moments later in a puff of smiles and “catch you later.”

In spite of the sleepless night and high-traffic morning, I was at my desk by 9 AM with just 30 minutes to spare before I would have to pull together some coherence of cognition and spirit to host a dialogue with a handful of modest luminaries (planning on posting that – assuming I secure permission – in service to others soon, just need to make some simple edits.)

Britni had also had trouble sleeping last night so we were quite the pair this morning. Stumbling over our words, we managed to rise with reasonable grace and make it through a simple breakfast, morning supplements, and a glass of water just in the nick of time to start the video conference on the half hour as planned.

On the other end of 100 minutes, I had cried, I had laughed, I had deeply appreciated, and I had shared. Of course with this group of friends – all just meeting one another for the first time – I knew that there would be brilliance, elegance, and poetry in the room, I only hoped that I wouldn’t be too much of a zombie to appreciate and care for the space of their introduction.

On the end of that time together, I found myself so grateful for what we had shared, both in depth, tone, and vulnerability, that actually ending the call took real effort on my part. With smiles and warmth we parted ways, from this coast of California, the Rocky Mountains, and nighttime in the Netherlands.

“I simply must do more of these!” I thought to myself.

So that conversation, and just a little sunshine, pretty much everything I’ve accomplished today. This evening I’ll turn in, likely before the sun, get a shower, and pray for sleep.

Oh yes, and I also started properly tracking my blood oxygen saturation with the device that will send a datastream to my phone overnight with multiple updates per minute in order to determine if there may be any clues there to my recent sleep concerns. While in the hospital recently, they actually had to shut down some of the bedside alarms for me to sleep as the O2 sat and heart rate kept dropping below their standard deviations.

The day has been bright and windy, the chimes have been singing without a break, perhaps we’ll clean them tomorrow. The sun is resting at the Golden hour as I bring these words to a close. The spring bloom of flying insects reflexive slight just outside my window casting an easy sense of movement against the glistening warm glow of the grasses on the far hillside and the pine needles edged with silver and flickering nearby.



I have to struggle against some habit, but fortunately my beloved friend Tyler’s encouragement is enough to help me over the threshold to invite you all to consider contributing to and sharing the crowdfunding campaign that helps me keep up in the face of enormous personal medical costs. Feel free to give generously and give often 😉

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