Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Hard realities…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 11 months ago

Rising slowly on a very hot day. A little too much kava last evening translated to a little more catatonic slumber quality. It was a busy evening with Vu visiting late, and Derek, the LVN from the service here to help with some “wound” assessment and treatment on the way to bed.

At the end I neglected to remember until it was too late that I have already decided to cut the dosage in half. I’ll do better tonight. 🙂

Yesterday was pieced together between fits of discomfort and productive focus. This meant that twice during the day I was retiring to a horizontal position to rest and still my nervous system. Unsure whether the discomfort had to do with minor issues of skin breakdown, leg bag straps being too tight, digestion, or something else I ended up playing a game of cat and mouse with energy and attention levels sufficient to well function.

Vu had opted in and out of visiting last evening a couple of times as her day seemed also to be unfolding in a bit of fits and starts. At the last minute she called saying that she had decided to put the work aside and make the drive to say hello. I was glad, with her heart always so firmly in Europe, a thick Serbian accent, and the sincerity about her own curiosity in the world and devotions to friendship, there is never a dull moment when we are together.

Derek identifies as Filipino-American so we have a nice rich field between the three of us as we moved through the steps of getting me down for the night.

I woke slowly, in part from the herbs, and in part simply for the intention to take it easy and give my body as much opportunity to recover as I might given the ongoing stressors of local and global uncertainty and the incrementally loving, but also systemically incoherent care.

I’m learning enormously about the intense personal challenges of a disabled individual managing their own care without the support of a close partner in the process. Too many face this each day, not only disabled, but countless others in disadvantaged positions. With luck I’ll be getting some of this down in a format that might lend some practical wisdom to others.

This is where I will likely spend the bulk of the day, attempting to cohere and consolidate those understandings in a written form.

Breakfast has arrived, with that, Magalin and I will turn headlong into the winds of time…

After breakfast I caught this posting from an old friend on Facebook, Matt is a quadriplegic injured shortly after graduating high school and his story and plea illustrate rather terribly the unfortunate state of too many whom we must find better ways of addressing. Do take a moment to look him up

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…