Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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From wheels to wheels!?

Kabir kadre|5 months, 23 days ago

Well that was interesting. I’m not sure when was the last time I didn’t leave a location for eight weeks. Might have been about 17 years ago when I left the hospital after about three months in recovery from a spinal cord injury.

Nothing fancy today, just acclimating Caroline to vehicle transfers and decided to use the occasion to give her the feel of operating an electric car. For those of you planning to skip electric manual operation and just go from internal combustion to Robo taxi, there are a number of nuances that come up when actually driving an electric car. I notice mostly the regenerative braking, torquey acceleration and whisper quiet.

We drove out through the neighborhood and along the San Diego foothills between Del Cerro and Santee, the early evening sun glowing on the steep faces. We made our way east to the freeway and then, looping back and learning the autopilot features, decided to venture over to say hello to the lady a and bright young lad across the fence and a car length into the street for a few minutes.

In all I was desk to desk in about two hours, head still a little spinning, not sure if it’s from the fresh air, movement, or some other catalyst but I am feeling a certain subtle quality of disorientation in the aftermath. I feel quite confident I’ve never had this experience from leaving home, however it does have a familiar taste to that of leaving the hospital after an extended internment.

After speaking with the ladies this afternoon, we’ve decided to go ahead for the time being with the team of 4+ me, conserving the energy that would otherwise go into searching and vetting a new care partner in our still acute social situations…

I am returned to the task at hand of finding a way to make visible this exquisite value of our little Care Field in order that we might create a way to sustain it to the point of a substantive generosity, and perhaps not a moment too soon of course for me, but also for the world reeling freshly from our shared unsettling.

[I just realized that the sense of disorientation I’m feeling might also be the drops of melatonin I just took after the sister doctor prescribed a few things to get rest and stay well in this time.]

For all the otherworldly qualities of the afternoon – organizing community efforts for sustainability, be bopping about in a spaceship, glancing recently released UFO footage from the Navy, I’m happy to report in these words a sense of satisfaction for a productive Monday spent getting various basics handled in the mundane realm, money, business, client billing, medical supplies management, etc. before allocating the bulk of the day to the continued process of organizing the informational content of the MettaCare project.

After a passably restful evening I woke early this morning with time to meditate and take in another chapter in the audiobook written and recorded by a friend of mine which I have been making my way through over the past weeks, and settle into the morning news before Cassandra’s arrival to help me begin the day.

Up and about by 8:30 AM, breakfasted in the sun on oatmeal with blueberries and coconut cream by 9 AM, I could feel a distinctly different tone emerging in contrast to the melancholia weaving through yesterday.

Regarding yesterday’s post and the content, “depression,” a wise man replied:

“I hold it for a while, then throw/ release it up into the air, like a captured bird, and let it fly away. It comes back, occasionally, but like an old friend, for a good visit, but not a constant roommate or companion.”

The music of David Gray float in the room as the last light begins to drop from the sky. Caroline’s cooking sounds echo cheerfully from the kitchen.

I’m suspicious now that this melatonin is getting right up on me. Good night self, good night friends.


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