Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Family night…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 10 months ago

Another full day in the thread of life comes winding into the evening stretch. Wet or dusty or smoky I cannot tell, but there is something to the air that gives it texture this evening as the sun drops from its position on high and begins to decline.

LB is out in the garden tending to the roses, Uma somewhere with him I think, or lying down for a nap. Patience, and her daughter who lives just up the hill from us here have gone to the market for paint to decorate Patience’s new room down the hall.

It’s been nearly 2 decades since I last saw her daughter, scarcely more than a toddler at the time. She’s in her early 20s now and making her way brightly into the world. We’ll have dinner together this evening, the five of us, once the shopping is done.

Sunlight paints soft motion through the pine needles and boughs and onto the wall and desk in the corners of my view as I contemplate and compose.

The house is quiet, a little mantra whispering from the corner, the wind chimes (mostly) silent in the calm evening air.

Waking was a minor labor again this morning, but I pushed through. I was scheduled for a 10 AM Zoom dialog to explore some aspects of the role of compassion in the time of Covid (is that rightfully a proper noun?… I think it must be.)

As can be the case the morning routine had other plans than the spacious journey to the call that I had imagined. Slow to wake, but I pushed through that; next was a bowel program that took twice as long as ordinary, a healthy movement, but one that took also a greater toll on the state of my nervous system.

A wound care as we nursed the vestiges of the last round of damage, hopefully now becoming a thing of the past as the care system continues to stabilize. I will interview with Vanessa tomorrow and with luck that will begin to bring our team complete.

Watching the clock and storytelling and joking and working, Patience and I made our way into the home stretch, rising and arriving for breakfast with just a little more than 20 minutes to spare.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.” I quoted later with a chuckle to LB commenting on the bumps and jostles in his unfolding journey. I had not caught the reflection to my own morning until just now as these words are landing on the page.

Arriving to my desk I saw notice from the agency nurse that she would be stopping by “in 20 minutes” to recertify me for the catheter change services we’ve been receiving. The message was time stamped 10 minutes earlier. As I contemplated whether I could ward her off, the doorbell rang.

Heather is a lovely woman from Iowa, or Ohio, I forget, definitely not Illinois, I’m pretty sure. Her husband is a physicist and she a smart nurse, we have met her before during her training to work for this company, and this is the first time she had seen me upright, let alone dressed. It’s a funny thing the way we meet people when our body and its “disability” play such a large role in the course of the day.

Nonetheless our jovial encounter was quick and ended curtly just about the time my nervous system recognized the dwindling minutes on the clock until the pending appointment. I found it funny as I noticed it happening in real time, almost stopping midsentence I turned from the conversation and breakfast, announcing something to the effect of… “Well that’s it, we are out of time.” 🙂

It seemed odd, but it was also true, and I did need those few minutes to orient and focus to host the call and gracious conversation with my compassion conspirators.

So much for a luxurious hour of preparation…

That kind of set the pace of the day… The call went well and reasonably on time to both ends. A bit like dessert before the meal. The rest of the day was spent clearing a mass of clerical concerns, from starting the process on a new wheelchair backrest in hopes of finding some postural relief from recent pains, to troubleshooting various pieces of equipment and software (now that I think about it, a bit of a theme today), and finally emptying the inbox on my desk of artifacts that have been accumulating since December of last year!

I’ve been grocery shopping twice today, once in the morning for bulk goods (online), and again in the afternoon for regular grocery (this time, delivery), and helped Patience learn the new life hacks for saving 15% on her errands and stacking stats in the process. Like I said, this day was all about the clerical bits…

Mantra has given way to Fleetwood Mac and the volume has come up as the light fades, golden glimmers still on the window pane as the ocean haze stretches dark and low along the coast far away down the valley through the evening haze.

This evening will be family night.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…