Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Family dinner

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 8 months ago

The sun is setting, the sky beginning to glow yellow, revealing its particulates content glows in on me sitting in the state of autonomic distress. This has been coming and going a bit today, I’m assuming digestive, but could also be the compression in the lower spine.

“Let’s don’t overlook the actually kind of miraculous signs of recovery going on.” Says Mike in reference to the new functions of perspiration, sensation in the feet, and apparent return of some function in the lower abdomen and bowel region. This certainly is a poignant note in the midst of the flurry of all things flowing here.

Mike’s weekly visit was spacious today, though much of the conversation centered on the acute nature of the situation here, care running thin, and big decisions in the works. I was on my own time for care so no transfer to bed for the treatment, instead we made osteopathic adjustments while seated in the chair. He certainly got into something else I could feel the waves of tiredness or exhaustion rippling through, taking me to almost dream states in an instant.

Meanwhile the day was spent with searching the inter-webs for care partners, and digging into the research of what will be required to repair the leak in the pond – the apparent source of our recent water woes. It will likely be a somewhat cumbersome job, but at least we’ve been able to isolate the disturbance leaving both the interior of the house, as well as the irrigation in full function.

Nurse Denise came through this morning to check up on the wound care process. She happily agreed we were making tremendous progress. The prognosis from Patience suggests that tomorrow may be our last long lingering morning of recovery efforts as the skin is now wholly intact and blushing.

Yesterday morning revealed the incumbency of selling the house and moving on, the I Ching reading in the afternoon confirmed it, and the late night conversation with Eliana plotted a real possible course into more modest digs as a ground from which to launch the next wave of this particular life in the world.

Ironically the acute need is for care on Friday. I may be able to limp through a couple of days and there are some glimmers of possible support on the horizon, but the threshold is really sometime early/mid next week which will decide if I am in the home while we sell it, or having to dance with hospitalization as apparently that is our formal way of handling a lapse in care for someone in my condition.

The discomfort was too much, I had to retire for a few minutes with Ms. Cassandra’s help to recline. Feeling better now, just 15 minutes later and back to the writing…

In the meantime, Ms. Elisa has arrived to jump on her Zoom call class. David has been here since late afternoon preparing dinner, now meditating on the porch. Patience is about someplace with Uma and the family will likely convene sometime in the 7 o’clock hour for dinner and communion.

Tomorrow I’ll call Eugenia, the glowing woman who helped us find this house over 13 years ago to ask for her help in finding the stewards to take it to its next level of grace. I’ve learned a great deal here, from the nuances and madness of a live in remodel, to the raising of a child and the intimacies of community life. This home has had a lot of love in this Baker’s dozen years and I’m happy to feel prayerful today around what could be next for it and what nourishing evolutions await its future occupants.

I’m going to go now, reflect a little while longer on the I Ching reading from yesterday, and catch a few trailing bits of wonder on the way to family dinner.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…