Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Drinking the juice

Kabir Kadre|7 months, 17 days ago

Holding pattern… Yesterday’s opening statement of paradox echoes through today, drawing my mind to reflect, there has been a moment of inhale, new help, new clarity on housing, establishment of trust, active motion of sorts.

I started the day by canceling an appointment to see a property that seemed a moment ago well-suited, but the pace of revelation broke the synchrony as the roles of trustee and care and friendship lent their dynamic to the dance.

Nova is still catching her sea legs as her sea changes. Elisa, beginning to inhabit the fullness of trusteeship is tacking strong into the wind of fiduciary accountability. David, with his ear always to the veils of the between has raised a matter of due diligence with regards to whether it is wisest to put Mill Peak truly behind us.

Perhaps this is the exhale, a moment of relative stillness as the body absorbs the medicine of the past moment.

Today felt something of that nature. I made my way outside into the sun sometime in mid morning. The light of the blue skies and air recently cleansed by the raindrops of yesterday, gave the feeling of expansion and openness with toasty rays tingling on the face.

Molly and I worked on fitting our materials for the fountain restoration project slowly underway. Meanwhile Vanessa dancing between and around us took broom to the bricks and stone pathways.

Content that I had soaked up a healthy dose of solar love I moved back indoors in search of some active traction. I spent the day, I think, moving from one practical project to another – advancing the work on the website that have been lingering for a month or two, fountain repair, restructuring financial flows in preparation for the trust, framing the conversation with David and Elisa, even getting a little hands-on time with Dr. Mike to better the care for my slowly healing foot.

The day felt airy and hollow, not in a bad way, but a bit as if there was something “I should” be doing. And yet…

The conversations with David and Elisa felt on target and pace. I continued to reflect with Molly on what MettaCare looks like in practice, a dialogue simultaneously aspirational and worldly while personal and practical on the ground. Molly seems interested and open to the exploration, appearing to bridge gracefully between the identity question of a new context, and a sincere and active investigation to be sure she is “getting it right.”

Somewhere in the midmorning Nova had some unexpected and very good news present itself in her journey, perhaps a good reminder that certainty is not all it’s cracked up to be.

I guess perhaps that’s it, I haven’t been feeling certainty, on a certain level I’ve been looking for it. It’s natural I suppose, though when one really looks, certainty is not all it’s cracked up to be.

At least I can enjoy Mr. Barr preparing to depart his post. I can enjoy a little jazz, a little hip-hop, and a little folk drifting through the air. I can enjoy the very real moments of good company, one after another and in combination today. Really, that one stands out. I imagine a vast number of humanity wasn’t so privileged as I, to have meaningful and engaged exchanges with four people in person, two by telephone, and a handful more by written exchange.

A lot to be said for drinking in the juice.


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…