Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Different worlds…

Kabir Kadre|1 month, 5 days ago

I swear I’m about to start charging rent to a certain software company it keeps using up real estate on my display to ask if I want to purchase an upgrade to their software, software I use only rarely which has, by now in fact launched itself to offer upgrades more times than I have launched it to be creative.

[End of rant.]

Easy Sunday afternoon, hint of moisture to the warm air just softening the look of things in the late afternoon sunlight. House still open, traffic sounds from the distant freeway mixed with the wind chimes on this end, while the waterfall sounds bubble in from the other.

LB and I are just returned from dropping off the whiteboard no longer in use here to Elisa, on its way to an office in Mexico for a second life.

Just as we were leaving Elisa’s place, a car pulled up alongside us with a very excited and animated young woman apparently giving us props for, perhaps, rocking such a stylish ride as our black Tesla model X loner from the service center, at least that’s my thought.

LB thought I was very funny, as he informed me that “black folks” will often just express an animated “what’s up!? :-)”

“You mean like, ‘ hey, you’re black too’” I said. LB cracked up.

“Yeah, I guess kind of like that.” He said.

Just about then we arrived at the traffic light, now parked next to our new friends who continued their animated gesticulations. I was starting to realize the woman was likely more talking to LB than to me and turned to see his response.

He was still laughing, “they want us to roll down the window” he said. The light changed and we drove on.

The encounter occupied the remaining 15 minutes of our drive home, simply unpacking why didn’t we roll down the window and what happens next if we do.

Apparently in LB’s world, this kind of thing happens all the time and generally plays out as follows…

Animated greeting followed by lighthearted what’s up and who are you kind of banter, leading quickly to what’s your number, and then a couple of days of texting back and forth before “ghosting” one another.

I asked LB about the last time he was at the mall, “how many people did you talk to besides people working at the establishment you are visiting, or people you know along the way?”

“A lot!” Came the response. This is normal.

Last time I was at the mall, I probably spoke to whomever I was with, the attendant at the door to the Apple Store, the technician or salesperson who is helping me, and that’s it. This is normal.

Human beings are talkative animals, signaling to one another – I like that, I don’t like that, what are you doing later, can we do it together?

LB was almost in tears with laughter at how little I knew about these kinds of engagements. Different worlds. Same world.

My world today was mostly about resting. The nth day in a row where waking took effort, I decided that as it was a Sunday, I would sleep in for an hour after meditation, inviting Patience to get breakfast and walk Uma, activities I know are a delicious part of her personal mornings.

Next, rising with extra care for stretching the body which is been so spastic lately, and extra care for the wounds which are closing in the home stretch on healing.

We listened to Zach Stein exploring the structures of ethics and justice as they pertain to the Internet. A contemporary of mine from a different world though with intersecting interests, I’m starting to formulate a conversation I’d like to have with Zach – something about formulating the design of our thinking as to appraising just where it is we are all finding ourselves together in this time and space.

I got up to the weekly review, taking a short break to enjoy some hearty oatmeal in the garden.

I made my way through the task of review and organization, enjoyable enough as it was, but by the end was back to a level of specificity that was downright distracting.

A little damp with dysreflexia and feeling like I was about to spring out of my chair, I rolled back into the garden to let the autumn sun bake me back towards stillness and calm.

Having mostly to hold onto my wheels to maintain a sense of equilibrium, I tried to review Zach’s presentation, unfortunately finding the audio to pale to compete with the outside noises – he had some slides I had wanted to consider that I’ll have to attend of another time.

Instead I found myself taking in a few YouTube videos and thanks to the grace of the lady, lunch as well.

By the time I was finished with that, it was clear the spasticity and dysreflexia were going to persist in spite of the sun. Time to surrender.

That level of specificity, and in particular combined with the nervous distress that is dysreflexia gives the body a feeling of being in the middle of a high intensity workout – about the time that that has persisted for a few hours it starts to get ridiculous.

I retreated to a prone and quiet position. Attempting, rather than balance, simply to hold my attention on the wonderful sounds gurgling down the hall. I stayed that way for about 90 minutes, my body may have attained some level of rest, but never quite gave up fully the discomfort.

The day was getting on, much to be done, even if nothing much got done. I rose and decided to jump in the car and unburden the garage of one more piece of flotsam.

Home now to the evening setting sun. We’ll have a house meeting in about 10 minutes, then dinner, then the rituals of night.


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…