Birth and light and flourishing…
First evening posting in sometime. I need to work on my eyes, somehow the font seems smaller at 7:15 PM than it does in the morning light. Life’s little mysteries…
Time right now has the echoing vibrato of the midnight blue chimes dancing just outside the window in the evening breeze. Seeming to stretch and collapse and weave its way through itself in unpredictable and psychedelic patterns.
Patience and I just had a conversation this afternoon on the subject of MettaCare and what might be intended there, an artifact of the growing momentum of our collaboration. It feels like we’ve been in this dialogue for a month, but the dialogue barely even began 10 days ago.
It feels to me like forever ago that my care system collapsed upon itself and the agency support and uncertainty became the rule of the day. One month ago today.
Yesterday I met Lydia, a one-year-old woman (I’m measuring adulthood from age 26, the end of adolescence 😉 who has been caregiving for a decade and seems excited to come and join the collaboration here. Our interview went well and she started this morning.
With as unstable as foundations have seemed lately, it’s almost hard to look directly at her presence here, and I can feel myself holding my breath in hopes that she will return, as scheduled tomorrow.
Given her firm landing, we find ourselves with a troop of care collaborators on the ground here with greater integrity, flexibility, and capacity than I’ve experienced in over six months. Now if I can only put the finance elements of that economic underpinning in place, we might really have something to build on!
The pressure sores that have rocked me for the last week have come into a clear and healing continuity. The seeming pace of the skins returned to well-being is now accordant with our previous patterns of well-developed “miraculous” speeds and I have been easily out of bed the last two days and looking forward to a swift and full recovery.
Nonetheless, the afternoon yesterday found me unsettled with discomfort and unable to identify a cause to address. This left me in bed for the afternoon as a place of seeming stability. I was able to rise briefly in the evening for dinner and to catch up on some long-overdue correspondence, but the incident again prevented me from feeling that sense of “progress” we all know and love so well.
In contrast, today has been a quantum pace, seemingly full as the ocean, but now almost over in an instant. Sleep came slowly last night and I was well into the wee hours of the morning before my wakefulness surrendered to slumber. I thought I would nap while taking the 90 minutes on my side to continue the healing journey of Alice, Betty, and Charlie, but apparently five hours was enough for the day, give or take.
After a lingering morning of caretaking body and introducing Lydia, observationally, to the space, I rose and got right to work with a general clerical clearing. Breakfast outside was sweet and brief, enjoying a cup of coffee with Faith while Lydia continued to explore. Then back to work… Correspondence, resolving computer issues, scheduling, and then MettaCare.
The dialogues currently afoot largely through email continue to stimulate and refine the clarity of what’s possible, what’s needed, and what is present to be done. I found a treasure trove of writing and research on the subject in David’s old computer and have staged that for review tomorrow. With each passing day, it becomes more clear and more certain that I MUST find a way to bring this work into the world.
I mentioned yesterday how, looking back over the course of my life I can see clearly a constant drum, drum, drum of my attentions returning, insight and capacities growing to the subject of care in the world., Care, you will see if you listen to the video linked above, is among the new order of our collective natural resources that must be managed and cared for wisely lest we risk polluting and wasting the stream… I am certain of this.
This care for these new order of objects holds profound implications for our capacities to care for those more familiar natural resources of air and water, human labor, and biodiversity, in ways that our current conditions reveal have been mightily strained by the process of business as usual.
Out of pain and wreckage, birth, light, and flourishing…
After tending to the momentum of the sacred work, it was back to the mines for me, grasping and grappling with the financial realities on the ground, still uncertain and not well-settled, but, to use the word again, miraculously somehow not dead yet. Little serendipities, graces and methodical “just enough” accounting left the day with another to do list for tomorrow, but glimmers of light and hope for one more precious moment, which may in the end prove enough…
In the words of a new and wise friend, “May it be so.” “May it be so for all of us.” Just enough, just in time.
I finished the day beginning to review a conversation with one of the great influencers, mentors, and loves of my life, to be reminded that it is the work we must do together, from the ground up if we are to go as far as we must in this time.
God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…