Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

Because… Writing.

|11 months, 11 days ago

It’s been some moments since I turned pen for pen’s sake, now is one such moment.

I am settled in a new home. I may have mentioned.

Some outstanding furniture from storage arrived yesterday. “Feels like home…” Has been on more than one set of lips.

The saga of the eternal search for care continues. One young man who never quite felt settled to me after one day of training has opted out with a contagious skin rash.

In other news, this now saw an early morning with Ms. Venus arriving shortly after the 6 AM hour to rally she and myself to the campus at UCSD for a follow-on to my annual urinary checkup. Today, a biopsy – likely routine – for which I will have results in a little over a week.

The engagement took the morning, and though it would be literary to do so, I do not feel inclined to recount the detail of the sense of freshness as the morning sun came in low through the passenger window as we progressed north to our destination; nor probably the campus as we made our way from the parking lot where the friendly elderly gentleman was opportunistically scoping our newly acquired “blue man” parking.

After check-in, the wait was short before a friendly nurse shuffled us to a windowless room with one door for the first stage of our admittance.

We were longer in preop than had been anticipated, but finished the morning podcast on the recent advances of ransom ware, and turned to napping, a pleasant enough respite after stirring early at 3 AM.

The early morning saw both a sense of lying awake, but also dreaming. Later, the anesthesia was a conventional complete gap in time.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of the aftereffects of anesthesia, David captures it nicely.

Home now, settled. Managed to get through a few general tasks. A mild day overall, perhaps that’s why I felt the willingness to offer words to the record.

Life is work. Not in a negative sense. Either is it a general truism. For me, of late, and for the foreseeable moment, life is work. Writing this evening is an exercise in taking a break, following on the somewhat “out of time” quality of the day, I let go of the many things that could be done, and do this instead.

Tomorrow the effort returns.

I will go now, into the quiet cool of the evening. The moon overhead, just emerging from wispy clouds, the same pale white and well on its way to full lends a sense of dimension to my place in this moment. Far away from there, and yet it is quite close, and still all of these moments, all of this space, merely the playfulness of a mind at work.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…