Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Back in the Saddle…

Kabir Kadre|2 months, 21 days ago

LB just went out the door which leaves me home alone for the next two hours or so. In preparation I rested my feet up on the red floral ottoman in the sunroom for about 15 minutes, just changing the angle of “attack” on what appears to be a somewhat inflamed disc at the L5/S1 spinal transition.

Discomfort has been ebbing and flowing all day but staying within the manageable range. I’ve been up all day, playing catch up at the workstation minus a couple tours of the fresh air in the garden – breakfast with Faith and later lunch with she and LB, it being her last formal day she treated us to tacos. 🙂

For now, extending my legs without leaving the chair appears to provide some reset and relief from discomfort with somewhere in the vicinity of 15 minutes giving me enough recuperation to go for a few more hours before becoming distracted by the “pain”.

Just before 3 PM now and I’ve caught up on the basic clerical and financial accounting/management matters left to languish for the past few weeks. I’ve rescheduled the MRI for the rest of the spine – just calling in today to double check the location for Friday, we discovered they are not able to take a quadriplegic patient at the location I have been assigned. Lovely Linda at UCSD scheduling sprang into action and called back a few hours later with an improved time at a closer location so that worked out all right.

I scheduled an appointment with the wheelchair technician for next week to determine if there might be mechanical adjustments we could make to help account for my current bodily complexities.

The calls for new care partners continue to go largely ignored, and communication with potential applicants seems almost normalized at “intermittent and inconsistent.” At least there are a handful of potentially promising candidates otherwise floating in the field of ambiguity that seems to surround the process these days.

While Faith retired from her formal role she was also clear to state that she still wanted me to think of her as a friend who wants me well cared for and to reach out if I ever got into a pinch.

It feels later in the day than it is, I think my brain is still adjusting to the return to upright activity and my body is definitely meeting the moment in a new state of experience. Mike mentioned the concerns we are facing could indeed prove chronic, though I am naturally much more minded to investigate injunctions that might leave things on a more healing trajectory.

I’m now looking forward this evening to returning to the regular Wednesday night meditation improv class at the Boston Center for Contemplative Practice, now well adapted to its new (for the time) online context.

Dear Eric sparked a fire last week with his call to find a way to get more Care funding as a practical launchpad for MettaCare, conversations have been had and email flurries begun. I chuckle to myself at the nested nature of the project that keeps unfolding…

Underway is a large-scale MettaCare overview project proposal, that have been put on hold to focus on developing the minimum viable product (MVP) of the manual (MettaCare Pathway Map), which is now pushed further into queue in favor of focusing on the “proof of concept” internship/training program which suggests the front burner might be actually curriculum development at this point.

I’m as much saying this out loud writing it down just now for myself as I attempt to organize the spaghetti into clear threads for the weaving. I feel well resolved nonetheless to follow this path where it leads.


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…