Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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Answers.

|5 months, 14 days ago

It’s been a pleasant enough day.

Sleep was a bit restless, minimally satisfying, but satisfying enough. The edges of my health felt frail in the night, even waking in a fit of discomfort at one point before drifting off again quickly. I must’ve woke four or five distinct times, each time feeling disturbed by the interruption and pessimistic for what it may portend. Still, each time, I slumbered again towards the dawn.

Finally I woke with reasonable light in the sky and an acceptable time on the clock. Still feeling a bit frail, I rose for the morning’s meditation, sat peacefully for about 30 minutes and moved towards the day.

First was a text from a friend:

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

In Strength to Love

A loving reminder to honor the fallen hero who has only continued to rise in spite of his death.

The first of the day was just about keeping the clerical balls in motion. First a call to the doctor’s office to check the status of forms moving towards Medicare for the necessary additional care assistance. Unsurprisingly the process was stalled. A quick call to the couple of Home Health Agencies, fax number in hand, got things moving again.

Next on the agenda was one of those moments of light I mentioned yesterday, a former client and friend, Amanda (https://www.drborlenghi.com) had agreed at my request some time ago to spend some time together offering her reflections on how to better promote and ramp-up my formal professional offering (the Wisdom Counsel slice of my 2020 vision pie.)

This and the string of other offerings like it (see yesterday’s post) has brought me nearly to my knees and certainly deep into my heart with humility and gratitude. With each engagement, I have no idea what to expect, except that even before the event I know the profound blessing and honor it is to receive them. It’s quite an exquisite place to stand, like waiting in the fading dark of the cold morning for a sunrise; the sky and scattered clouds promise something, but still it manages to take your breath away.

This conversation with Amanda was no exception. While having had the privilege of appreciating her from a certain perspective in the consulting capacity, coming together in this new moment of my own vulnerability proved a bright light to shine on the brilliance of her reflection. I came away nourished, not only in the spirit of friendship, but with exceptional and clear guidance, and new avenues for future creative possibility.

We had scheduled an open-ended time together, implicitly, with no dialogue in advance to bound our conversation. I noticed as the hour mark approached, a common cutoff time these days for video calls and other meetings of an informal and conversational nature. While I attended the desire to be respectful of her generosity and time, the conversation just continued to flow in a lovely back-and-forth for another 30 minutes, until we both had pressing engagements forcing our hands to end.

The deepening of this friendship is just one more of the unexpected gems I have found along this narrow and craggy path of transformation.

Next it was out the door we go, a quick errand of minor consequence and off to support our friend Elisa with a pickup from Amato’s auto body, midday to save for the ride in an uber long across the county. The journey gave me a chance to catch up to Dennis (http://www.wiredinstructor.net) on some possible collaborations with our MettaCare initiative.

Another bright soul, the conversation with Dennis was like ginger beer on the back porch in August. Words danced like the poetry of wind across green leaves, leaving us with a feeling just like that. Our words came to rest in graceful silence, just at the moment that we rounded the corner (Eleña and I) to meet Elisa and begin the next wave of our day.

It’s been a pleasant enough day. Waves is truly an apt metaphor; each new activity bringing with it a quality of ebb and flow, familiar in movement if not in form. As our drive to Amato’s broke on the shore and began to wash back into the ocean of the past, the surge of the next moment began as Elisa pulled into the parking lot a moment later just behind us.

After a brief turnaround where I tried unsuccessfully to encourage Eleña to find her way into the lobby, just to appreciate the impact of the Art Deco interior, Elisa returned from dropping off the key and we set our sights on coffee and lunch with a view.

Off to bird rock coffee roasters in Del Mar (to find they had no sandwiches, and the only food on the menu – fancy toast – was out of supply.) Coffee then it was. There was also no seating. A simple sidestep and there we were with our coffee in hand, our view of the estuary and hillside at Torrey Pines, and the fast but satisfying lunch from Roberto’s just next door.

The conversation was light and filled with laughter. Eleña marveled at herself, keeping warm in my bright orange vest, three shades of orange including her hair and her new backpack from REI really made the woman. Look out world, make way for the new Lady E (https://gardensong.home.blog.)

The air was brisk and we were only slightly out of the wind. No sun broke through the clouds to ease the winter chill, but with scarves and hats and down vests to complement the warmth of friendship, we hardly noticed. Eventually, this wave too broke and we began to make our way back to the Southland to drop our friends at home and make our way back to Mill Peak.

Monday. Martin Luther King Day, and a bank holiday. We got a few things done, and this close to the holiday season, with gray skies and cool air, it felt a bit – not quite out of time –… I’m not sure I have words for the feeling. It was a pleasant enough day. Nice contacts with lovely people, grace, wonder, perhaps even opportunity.

Not a lot of answers today. My body likes answers. There’s a kind of weightlessness that accompanies those parts of our journey where things are uncertain. It’s easy to get airsick when the ground appears ambiguous. The meditation helped this morning, and Greg’s herbology skills no doubt as well. I don’t feel sick. The ground appears ambiguous. I am warmed by so many acts of friendship. I wonder how I might make an offering of substance. I have ideas. I have actions. I don’t have answers. This writing is not about answers.

Nonetheless, it’s been a pleasant day.


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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…