Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

And then it was May…

Kabir kadre|2 years, 2 months ago

I’m detecting an interesting pattern in the practice of a daily Journal. Without a corresponding practice of notetaking, the events that transpire immediately after the effort to record and reflect, as well as those that follow tend to become somewhat occluded by events in time more recent to the engagement.

The first that’s only sort of true, and only sometimes…

I do find myself in real time in this reflection wondering what it might be like to start, rather than end the day, in this practice.

Serendipitously, tomorrow is 1 May. Today marks the beginning of Beltane. All of these seem a good indicator that the time is ripe to adjust one’s practices, and so I will.

Tonight’s musical accompaniment comes from the late Johnny Cash and the Carter family whispering sweet devotion to the Christ. The deep blue wind chimes echo dutifully along in the evening air.

Eliana came by this afternoon to talk vegetable gardens and meet Caroline for the first time. Glancing outside I noticed a break in the clouds and headed outside to take our meeting along proper social distancing guidelines. An hour later as we were wrapping up, I realized that the break in the clouds, was actually the change in the weather the reports have been anticipating.

As the sun drifts towards the horizon, the light remains bright reflecting off the clear blue sky above.

Eliana planted this landscape that surrounds us here at Mill Peak last fall. In the process she asked if I would prefer to save money by buying younger plants or enjoy the yard more fully sooner with mature plantings. My decision was mostly informed by the idea that there is a certain privilege in witnessing the birth and evolution of life.

At the time, this was mostly just an idea. Today, as Eliana references certain bare spots in the yard, and other places where plants failed and will need to be replaced, she speaks of things to come in years hence, growth and majesties yet invisible today. Farmers, gardeners, and other stewards of the land appreciate this slow movement of time and the emergence of a greater fullness of beauty and bounty more easily, I think, than the rest of us.

Today I was grateful to notice some small appreciation, some slight development of the patience necessary to approach the wealth that can only emerge through the careful application of love and attention and the time through which it moves. Parents also understand this, though I think in a different way. The human eye after all is trained to detect motion first.

As Eliana lingered, engagements pressing, our conversation could soften to reveal those more tender aspects of our lived experience through this strange time. The quality of being unsettled which I think most of us can contact now, and a hope that something precious might be gained through these trials. What that might be seems almost too sacred to say, and for me, most of the accounts of effort to do so seem to fall short of any prophetic resonance, landing instead at hopeful and possibly just a little further out in aspiration than the acute moments ahead.

I spent the midday continuing to shape clarity and leadership around the MettaCare wisdom and offering. This remains new territory to me and each time I think I see the path to the summit, I find yet another dip and rise appear as I take those steps forward. Today as I mind mapped the project, the distinctions grew and then broke apart into complementary structures; MettaCare – where we’ve been, the World in a sense as it is, and MettaCare 2020 – the path forward.

It is right here in that very process that I am privileged to practice that careful application of love and attention, patience and appreciation. My prayers are that this careful approach will produce a more integrated and harmonic offering than something driven strictly by a burning and urgent desire for progress. Don’t get me wrong, it’s the burning that does all the work 😉

Synergistically, the latter part of the day was spent studying and organizing the approach to the necessary fundraising to give room to this project to unfold its natural beauty and sent into the world. It’s a nice reciprocal loop – to focus on the construct of Care and how we might nurture its presence in our Commons more fully – and then turn to the very personal prospect of asking others to channel resources towards that through me.

I find it asks a lot of me to become vulnerable in that way; to speak directly to that quality of being, that quality of self that becomes the conduit of source to flow purely from one station to the next. The opportunity, I think is to allow many source capitals, not only financial, but creative, wisdom, connection to others, awareness, and more to flow through oneself where these streams can intermingle in the channel, releasing something new, nurtured by the essential life force, into the world as greater beauty, care, and the new truth that is the world that, in the words of Charles Eisenstein, we long for.

I keep finding myself wanting to return to the word privilege. The days will become warmer now. A hummingbird dances under the canopy of the pine outside. The light is fading, evening mist rises off the ocean become the humid clouds of the coastal night. By grace there is much I have to be grateful for. Even recognizing this is a privilege.

I got to speak to my friend Mike today on the phone for about 30 minutes. Mike is also my doctor. Mike is very privileged. He has crafted his practice as an osteopath in ways that make him exposed and of service to a great number of individuals, and through them, others, their dreams, their jobs, their organizations, and more. Mike is losing his mind today, like so many others – parents trapped inside with small children at the mercy of their own crucible of creativity. Losing one’s mind in certain cases isn’t so bad. From the outside, Mike almost makes it look easy. 🙂

In the time of pandemic, Mike is making it a practice not only to work selflessly on countless projects related to our acute condition, but also to stay deeply connected to all of his patients in the spirit in recognition that wellness comes not only from hands on the body, but also those connections of heart-to-heart and care.

Be like Mike. 😉

Coming through this ordeal, how can we return to the ordinary world and be sure to bring with us the treasure, unblemished, of a greater care for ourselves, for one another, and for that beautiful, broken, humble, ordinary world that we share?


As always feel free to pop over and put a few shekels in the fundraising machine, and don’t forget to share this with others who may also benefit by the love of sharing… ??

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…