Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

All that exists is love…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 10 months ago

Stiffness floods through my body in a swift sudden wash. Sitting in my chair I feel as if balanced on a pinhead and about to topple. I jerk, my arms dive for the wheels, the full visceral sense that if I miss my grasp, the next moment I will find the floor, and my head, whatever lies between here and there.

These momentary excursions visit at random, sometimes a few instances in a day, others without return for many weeks. They arise and pass quickly. Like other instances of spasticity their origin may be malicious or benign, hard to tell usually until later, and even then always only speculation.

Today, is it the contrast of cool indoor air and the heat outside, is it some remnant of the catheter change this morning, or the prophylactic antibiotic that accompanied it? Each of these are good suspects, of course it could also just be an artifact of a paralysis grown tired of inaction in the moment…

It’s been a busy day. Nurse Denise came, training April, this morning to change out the catheter. On the other end of the day just in this moment, young Devon has graced us with a visitation, coming cheerfully in the door with hellos and smiles.

LB is registering for Spanish class and locating the remaining credits of outstanding electives to close his bachelors degree, with luck, this semester. Patience is painting her room, making stew and generally mastering the kitchen, I’ve been gleefully juggling the storm – finance management, closing the old payroll service for the new, and putting some old bills recently paused for the pandemic, back online.

The early evening, or was it late afternoon, was attending to MettaCare related projects and dialogues. I was graced by a telephone call from our patron mountain yogi, calling down from the fields of Oregon to report on the birthing, living and dying of the earth and her critters and the invitations those cast to realize the birthing, living, and dying within each of us in this world we are living through today.

After a month of engagement and observation, the MettaCare training and practice and program is beginning to further clarify itself, particularly in relationship to young LB, aspiring to greatness and still understanding the ropes and threads of responsibility on the earth.

Dr. Mike visited today, practicing emergent strategies of whole being home health from the perspective of the physician. A prototype of the MettaCare doctors role weaving from one Care Field to the next, a golden thread in the wide tapestry that binds us all together.

Midday and lunch we enjoyed with Vanessa whom we found online, recently moved from Colorado, an aspiring health coach with interest to join our merry little band of Care Partnering on the ground with sights set to encompass the earth.

It’s been busy and moments throughout I keep returning to an admiration of gratitude to feel the force of these waves rolling through being, here, now, in this world of turmoil, in this spastic body, with these great people and the honor to long for something more for future generations.

It’s been hot again today. Tomorrow the physical therapist will help us move towards wheelchair adjustments which, with luck, will alleviate some recent discomfort and perhaps help to build a little future health.

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God gets to know things, we just get to ask questions…