Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

A new tone

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 9 months ago

Morning meditation went well today, that is to say, with the group. Stephanie arrived, excited, never having meditated in silence by herself. I gave her a few words of guidance and she and I am the Lady P settled into the quiet for our 20 minutes of collective stillness.

I was delighted to see the smile on Stephanie’s face when we finished and she is enthusiastic about making this a regular part of her mornings – even on days off as she just lives a bit more than a mile away.

Definitely a new energy moving through the space. Today I called our friend Augusto to let him know I would not be needing his services going forward. I never got a sense of commitment to anything larger than the transaction here from him; cordiality certainly, but I always had the distinct sense that this was just a stop on his daily errands.

Somehow I have found myself surrounded by five enthusiastic collaborators, in spite of the enormous and continuing instabilities that have covered the last three quarters of a year since the last time I felt any substantial care system stability.

Mike’s osteopathic treatment yesterday seems to have helped, his words on completing the treatment – “your body is definitely tired” – rang true tip to tail.

I got to bed early last evening, unable to stay up any longer simply due to apparent inflammation and subsequent dysreflexia related to the lower spine (is my guess.) Even so, sleep was again somewhat disturbed – dreams of a sort I cannot just remember, some lucid quality to them, somehow more luminous than usual, though the content doesn’t stand out as particularly pleasant…

I dozed lightly through the morning after sometime in the 2 o’clock hour, rising after five to meditate for a while, set an alarm, and rest again until the morning’s appointment with the crew.

Patience bid us good day after a brief debrief on our shared meditation activities, and Stephanie and I began rolling into the morning. We listened to a podcast on empathy describing an artist’s sacrificial contribution to our ongoing collective conversation around the state and evolution of empathy.

Stephanie put my body through a range of motion, loosening the joints and getting the blood flowing, a quick clearing of the various parts, and onto my side for some pressure relief and treatment of the tender spots that have been the result of this period of stress and discontinuity.

I stayed there, feeling the tiredness and even dozing off into the first few layers of sleep, an almost nonoccurrence once I have started moving in the morning. Today was different.

I was pensive to rise, both because I could feel the tiredness in my body, and also given the experience of yesterday’s physical distress I was not looking forward to running the experiment again to find if I could stay upright without losing my whole focus in a fit of autonomic dysreflexia.

I took the opportunity, once dressed, to spend an hour just resting and took in another podcast – this time it was not so much as the perspectives being woven that held my attention. The guest and I have numerous mutual friends in common and she has been mentioned to me on many occasions, this was the first time I have found occasion to enjoy hearing her directly.

I did get up, after munching a few more herbal anti-inflammatory pills, and while the discomfort was present throughout the day, it never did rise to the level of distraction and disruption.

The day was generally productive, or so it seems to me, Stephanie was able to get some grocery shopping and I managed to move a few projects forward substantively enough to feel the momentum of things. The lovely Miss Cassandra is with us this evening for a bit, offering her services to the cultivation of the young LB.

My eyes are bleary, I think another sign of the tiredness and a day that started about 16 hours ago. Dinner and winding down…

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