Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre
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A day of fullness

Kabir Kadre|16 days ago

Long day – 12 hours in the saddle and not home yet.

I woke from a strange dream, Pres. Trump and a sitting justice presiding over some affair. The justice indicated it should be left for later, the president disagreed. The justice replies, “as I have more gold stars than you, we will be going with my opinion.”

Somehow I have a copy of the formal documentation, a single sheet, the justice on the top half, two gold stars indeed. The president on the lower half, no gold stars.

“You have no gold stars!” I exclaimed with glee. “He has no gold stars!” I shouted out, alerting everyone. “He has no gold stars!” I repeated again and again, loudly, running through the streets, taunting as if a child on the playground. “He has no gold stars!”

The infantile president chased after me trying to get me to stop. Around the bend, I ran into a crowd of people, all alerted to the news, now apparently being spread throughout the land. It was kind of celebration, the president was not happy. “He has no gold stars!” Echoed out.

I woke heavy. I had tried another formula for sleeping, less medicine, and woke near 3:30 AM. I had managed to rest again, but was sleeping heavy when my alarm rousted me, just a few minutes before the nurse, Heather, would arrive to graciously perform the morning duties and get me up and running in the hour we would have to share.

I rose to a quiet house. Heather filled my water bottle and departed with a smile.

Plenty to do… Initiate the special needs trust, follow-up with the Medi-Cal application, push onward with the care search, start the house manual for generous transfer to future owners, coordinate with Eugenia, and clear the inbox…

I put on some music, shuffling my favorite songs playlist and got down to business.

Elisa would be by near 10 AM with a breakfast burrito in hand. My body was stiff and uncomfortable at that point in the morning, and turning around to the other side of the office I found sun streaming in the window. We moved over to the desk on that side for breakfast and the radiant warm light cut my discomfort back enormously while we chatted and ate.

Back to work, she on a call, me faxing the IRS, communicating with an interested party to buy the car, and ordering better sleep supplements.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on finance, completing the latest stage of my Medi-Cal application once I got a call back from the caseworker. I have been attempting for two days to get the paperwork back to them, but couldn’t figure out how to communicate short of leaving a telephone message. Today Elisa pointed out a fax number listed. Funny, I hadn’t even considered that a legitimate method of communication, stupidly archaic.

I set up the online fax account, and sent the documents over. Except I didn’t. The fax line turned out to be voice/fax, which really just meant voice with no option for fax. Similarly with the document currently being faxed to the IRS – I’ve literally made a dozen efforts today, and each time the service comes back with a failure notice.

We also heard back in the afternoon from the most interesting apartment we found, they are okay with removing the carpet and modifying the bathroom and installing a ramp – likely mostly at my cost, though there may be some programs to help with these disability modifications.

I started the application in late afternoon and finished it just after my meditation class with Dan and Sangha today.

Right down to the wire today… I broke work at 4:15 PM to tune in for the Eastern time zone meditation class with Dan and company, scrambling for the 15 minutes between then and 4:30 PM, when class formally starts after the lengthy process of admitting all the attendees in the video room, to wrangle the various threads of clerical business underway.

Vanessa and Razor had arrived at 3 PM in the midst of the bustle and had gone shopping up the road. The grocery delivery service has gone off-line since my preferred market seems to be closed for renovations, potentially indefinitely as I think the mall that it is in is going under.

Elisa took off for a veterinary appointment for Cienna just a little later and I settled in for the luxury of the class.

Truly I’m beginning to feel more and more in my bones the primal place of awakening practice in my priorities of focus.

Just as class was starting, contractors called in by Eugenia to look at the deck arrived. They were still here 90 minutes later when class finished, working in the dark just to assess the level of effort required to bring the deck up to spec for selling the house. I spent the next 30 minutes checking in with them to discuss the project, field their concerns, and finally politely extract myself to get back to the last working details of the day.

Even just moments ago now, nearly 8 PM and we are still putting things out for the post. Unfortunately just now to find the mailman hasn’t picked up the mail in two days.

Pizza for dinner I think. Tomorrow morning will start late, no care available until Heather at 10 AM, Elisa will be by after that to bridge the gap before Vanessa and Ray come back for Ray’s last day of training in the afternoon and evening.

Time to wind down…


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