Kabir Kadre
Kabir Kadre

2020, lost but not forgotten…

Kabir Kadre|1 year, 6 months ago

The last light of the year begins to dim on the West Coast of North America. Somewhere just beyond these walls, new cases of the extra contagious strain of pandemic have made their way to the neighborhood of Southern California. Stakes continue to loom like demons around the edges of the mandala.

I’m out of bed today for the full day, autonomic discomfort waxing and waning throughout the day. I’ve let go, to the degree that I can, searching for blame on the matter, rather just staying hydrated and focus where I can.

Rose with Stephanie today, finding universal improvement across the board on all measurements of observable healing, a good start to the end of the year.

Nova stopped by, just waking up, cup of coffee in hand and crawled under the blankets next to me looking for a little warmth of community to nourish her soul at the end of an exceptionally trying year for her as well. The three of us laughed a bit and rested a bit and smiled a bit. After a while the healing had its effect and she stepped out the door rejuvenated for the day.

Rising progressed tenderly and carefully nonetheless and I reached the office sometime shortly after 10 AM. Come to think of it I did not make it outside today, though the skies are clear now, there was overcast much of the day and nothing in me felt like getting any cooler.

I retired late afternoon yesterday, retreating successfully from pain and discomfort by getting horizontal, or at least reclined in bed. We decided to splurge on take-out and Nova treated Vanessa and I to impossible burgers for dinner.

I continue to take in “my show,” getting the general gist of UK history over the last 70 to 100 years, at least from the view over the shoulder of the monarchy anyway.

Leaning in gently to take stock today…

I started the morning with a podcast interview with an artist and distant associate whom I adore. I learned of his new initiative, a podcast titled simply Aliens and Artists and look forward to digging into this new “my show” in the new year…

Getting busy around the office, clearing the morning email and taking stock, I was delighted for a call from my old friend Marsha, a bit of an artist and alien lover herself. She is one of my great spirit friends, someone I like to think of as a twin flame, and magically – as we took note of today – she is almost identical in age to my parents, as am I to her children.

Among our many shared interests, today we dwelled on the subject of crypto currencies as they continue their inevitable march into the human techno strata, fascinating the both of us to no end… It is a playful territory for us, filled with giggles and excitement.

“Are you invested in the space” she asked? She knows I had gotten in deep early in the 2017 market move.

“I’ve got $53 on the sideline, waiting for the big pullback.” I told her, grinning audibly. We both laughed. I shall be forever indebted to the field for taking me on a journey of skyrocketing wealth and catastrophic crash, that has along the way provided with feels a bit like an advanced degree in the subject of finance and economics at the least, and perhaps a wisdom of investment in all aspects of life towards a more hopeful end of the spectrum.

After our conversation I decided a concentrated effort to clear the debris from my inboxes and get things organized for the next cyclical wave in our annual spiral, thus went much of the day to the process of review and reflection.

Serendipitously I came across a number of sweet moments and scraps of wisdom from the previous year, and sent these in little doses to this or that person who seemed an apropos year for the various subjects. One stood out in particular…

4 Mind Changers

These four contemplations from the Buddhist tradition encourage us to turn our mind towards a state of ever present awareness to the nature of life, and to follow by making our choices accordingly.

1. Life is immeasurably precious.

2. Life is short, and death is certain.

3. Life contains inevitable difficulties (karma.)

4. Our ethical choices mold our lives.

As you contemplate these four perspectives, accept what naturally arises, allowing your mind (your thoughts, feelings and awareness) to explore these responses. Notice the thoughts and feelings without judgment. You may discover endless threads of wisdom within your own being.

I thought this worth repeating for a (slightly) larger audience.

Later in the afternoon I managed to reach out to another old friend to discuss love and life, broken and open hearts, the cosmic arc, and the ephemeral nature of meaning. Our conversation ranged from raclette, to the sweeping arc of time space and back to the Armageddon of the day, were loved ones lay suffering a world away unable to touch, or be touched by those of us who have learned to laugh, perhaps unwisely, at such distances.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with minor details sprinkled throughout reflective moments with Stephanie, calls to mom and Elisa, and the welcome arrival of Vanessa for the evening. Oh yes, and coffee, we got coffee.

On to the new year…

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